I don't think I want to leave you here alone

I can't believe that I'm leaving

Tommy had been diagnosed with stage II chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (copd) at the tender age of 5. Even with his medication and frequent hospital visits he had reached stage IV by the age of 16. He couldn't do the things that other kids could like run around or go play in the snow. He had trouble making friends because he was seen as 'fragile' and depressing.

Tommy had always been sick as a child. He was always the 'sick kid' and 'fighter', but what people didn't know was that he didn't want to fight anymore. It took too much energy that he didn't have anymore. He used to be scared of dying, crying every night knowing it was soon, but he has excepted it now. He was ready he would never be ready. Since kindergarten, he always kept his friends at an arms reach knowing that any day could be the day he didn't wake up or lost violently to his illness.

The one place that people didn't know of his ailment was the SMP. His internet friends didn't have to worry about him hurting or over exerting himself. The first time he was seen as 'Tommy' and not 'that dying kid'. He finally had a place where people don't treat him like glass and he couldn't bring himself to ruin that by telling them about it. He was finally going to have a meet up with the whole SBI! He couldn't miss that no matter how much his just breathing hurt.

But it was getting worse. He didn't want to tell his parents and risk them not letting him go. He wasn't going to get better and he wanted to live his life to the fullest. He knew he was going to die soon. Forcing his friends into meeting him when he felt as though he could drop dead at any moment without their knowledge was selfish, but hey he was dying so he deserved to be selfish one last time he can't look them in the eyes anymore.

Tommy was losing weight and appetite, he had more frequent cases of pneumonia and seemingly endless coughing fits. He could barely get up in the morning anymore but here he is getting up at 6 am to catch the train to see his whole internet family for the first and probably last time.

Dressing was a chore. He had to stop multiple times to catch his breath and even then he wasn't sure he could. He had to. Tommy skipped breakfast not even being able to imagine stomaching down the meal. He went to say goodbye to his parents and to tell them that he loved him. This was a new habit because he never knew when leaving the house whether that would be the last time he had the chance to.

His parents were hesitant to let him go seeing how pale and frail he was, but after endless reassurance and begging to be let to go alone they conceded. They knew he missed out on a lot of his childhood and couldn't deny him this, Tommy used that to his advantage.

The cold December air felt like it was cutting his lungs with a thousand razor blades every breath he took, but it would be worth it. Tommy walked onto the train with labored breaths. He would make it at least this once. He would guarantee that. He might not be able to.

The train felt like it lasted days but as the doors opened and he saw his pseudo-family waiting for him at the station he knew why he was doing it. Phil noticed him first waving excitedly. Techno second, offering a tentative wave and soft smile. Wilbur turned around and smiled running up to hug him knocking the wind out of him. Tommy disguised his coughing with his boisterous laugh like so many times before that.

"Hey Philza Minecraft how are you this fine morning?" Tommy asked.

"Good, glad to see you all!"

"Same here big man, I can't believe that I am in the presence of the Philza Minecraft! This is almost as great as my many weddings." Tommy knew he wouldn't live to get married and have a family like like Phil but he didn't mind he was mourning a future he would never have by making jokes.

"Aww come in Tommy aren't you excited to see Wilby?" Wilbur whined.

"Oh My Prime is that the Technoblade?! In the same building as I the Tommy Innit?"