Title from Wilbur Soot's 'I'm Sorry Boris'
Tommy had always been sick as a child. He was always the 'sick kid' and 'fighter', but what people didn't know was that he didn't want to fight anymore. It took too much energy that he didn't have anymore...
Hey! Two chapters in one day, who am I? Actually I jus had no school and didn't do my late work😭 also I was jus on a caffeine high bc I recently learned how to make iced coffee and it's all I've had all day😭 hopefully y'all enjoy tho✋😭
Tubbo still remembers his last discord call with Tommy. It had been weeks before the unthinkable happened.
Tubbo had called Tommy to scold him for his irresponsibility lately. He was going to yell at him for missing streams, but during the call Tommy had looked so out of it that he just couldn't.
Tubbo had taken one glance at the fidgety and pale Tommy on his screen and his worry had out-washed his anger
He still remembers the conversation like it was yesterday:
"Tommy, are you okay? You look a little worn out big man."
"Yeah I'm good Tubso, you don't need to worry about me."
"Of course I worry about you Tommy, you're my friend!"
He used to say best friend. Before Tommy became distant. Before his daily talks with Tommy turned into a quick text and daily talks with Ranboo.
Tommy had always been his priority before Ranboo. He was the reason he kept streaming.
Tommy was everything. Tommy was the sun. Tubbo still feels bad about the way he treated him during the days leading up to his death. He always will. He was supposed to be there for him. He was supposed to be his best friend.
Tommy was always there for him when he needed him. He talked him into streaming when he felt like it was going nowhere. He helped him with his homework and supported his decision to quit college when it became too much. He brought him into the dream smp and helped him build his channel.
Tubbo owed so much to Tommy, and now he could never pay him back. When Ranboo came along, he was so happy to make a new friend his age. He couldn't make new friends at college anymore. He quickly became closer to him and even platonically married him on the smp.
Tommy was busy with his exile arc and streaming with him quickly became difficult. Soon, Tubbo primarily streamed with Ranboo and the 'Tommy and Tubbo wholesome moments' compilations quickly became 'Ranboo and Tubbo wholesome moments'.
Tubbo called Tommy to tell him he had replaced him, and it hadn't been the same since. Tommy took this with stride, he cranked out more content and continued streaming and vlogging. Tommy actively supported their friendship, sure, he made the occasional jealousy joke, but those were bits right?
Sometimes Tubbo wonders if they were really jokes. Sometimes Tubbo wonders if Tommy had pushed his new friendship because he was worried about what would happen when he left them. When he left him.
It's still hard to believe that Tommy could die, that his light could burn out so suddenly. But was it really sudden? Tommy had been sick for a while. Tommy had been dying right under his nose. Tubbo hadn't even noticed that his best friend had been dying.
Looking back, there were signs. Big blaring signs right in his face. Tubbo thinks that maybe he ignored them on purpose to focus on his budding friendship with Ranboo. But, deep down, he knows that there's no way he could have known. No one did. Tommy told no one, not even Wilbur.
When Tubbo heard the news he thought it was some kind of sick joke, a way for Tommy to get back at him for neglecting him the past few months.
It wasn't until the funeral that he realized it was real. Tubbo sat down at the church and cried into Ranboo's shoulder the entire ceremony. Tubbo knew that Ranboo and Tommy were friends too, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His sun burnt out and now he was left in cold, harsh darkness.
Before he knew it, it was time to pay his respects. Tubbo stumbled up to the casket with the help of Ranboo.
Looking down at the motionless corpse lying there Tubbo can't help but cry. He looks so fragile, lying there. He looks dead. Tubbo grabs his hand, his cold brittle hand. He feels as though he could snap his wrist in two.
That isn't Tommy, that isn't his Tommy. Tommy is the sun. Tommy is warmth. Tommy is strength. Tommy could never sit still so long. Tommy could never be so silent.
Tubbo's doesn't even process his own words when he chokes out, "Tha-That isn't him, your lying! Where is he? That's not Tommy."
Loud gasps and sobs ring throughout the church. Ranboo only shakes his head and pulls Tubbo into a tight embrace, leading him back to their seats. Tubbo feels the cold wood beneath him. This is real. That is Tommy.
Tubbo begins to laugh, ignoring the disdainful looks he gets. Tommy is dead, and Tubbo is still here. That's laughable. Soon, his manic laughter is the only noise ringing throughout the church.
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Please don't make fun of my art like I said I was bored😭
