I don't think I want to leave you here alone

As long as your happy, I don't care

Ranboo should have seen the warning signs.

He should have known something was wrong.

He didn't even realize anything was wrong until Tubbo practically body slammed him at six in the morning despite his sleep schedule and aversion to touch.

Tubbo just sobbed into his shoulder muttering gibberish. Ranboo could only pick out a few words. Something about "Tommy" and "sick" and what a "bad friend" Tubbo was. Ranboo just rubbed circles into Tubbo's back, muttering soft comforts and reassuring Tubbo that he was a great friend. They stayed there for what seemed like hours before Tubbo had calmed down enough to explain.

Tubbo gulped, "he's dead."

Ranboo was very confused. Maybe an elderly relative had passed? He asked to be sure, "who?"

Tubbo didn't reply for a second, looking him up and down seemingly to prepare himself. For what? Why would this effect Ranboo?

The silence is vanished with a soft, broken, "Tommy, he was sick apparently."

Ranboo swallowed a breath he didn't know he was holding. His brain was working at overdrive to make sense of this. That makes no sense. Tommy would of told them. Right? He knew they were there for him, right?

So that makes no sense.

So that's simply not true, right? There's no way, right?! There's no way Tommy died, right? It made no sense. This is just nonsense. For a moment Ranboo had convinced himself that yes, this is a joke, or some sort of weird dream. But then he felt Tubbo grip his shirt tightly, and the snot dripping down his shirt, and realized that this is real.

Maybe he and Tubbo were bad friends. He should have been there for him. He should have been there when Tommy was overwhelmed. He should have been there when Tommy had fought with and been blocked by the rest of the smp. But he couldn't.

Not when he had only just been accepted as one of them. Not when he was still insecure about his standing as a part of the smp. Not when he still cared so much about making them like him. Tommy died and they weren't there for him.

Ranboo put himself before his friend. For a moment, Ranboo wanted to yell, and curse God for his cruelty. He wanted to scream and reprimand Tubbo for his inability to notice his best friend's slow demise. But that's not what Tubbo needs right now. That's not what his friend needs.

Ranboo decided right then to never put himself before his friends ever again. So he won't cry, he won't curse, and he won't mourn. He'll just rub Tubbo's back, whisper soft reassurances, and be there for him. Because that's what Tubbo needs.

Maybe that's why Tommy's death still doesn't feel real to him. Maybe he can let Tubbo convince him that this isn't real. Ranboo still messages Tommy on discord about updates and life with Tubbo. Ranboo still sends him vlog and video ideas. He still asks for advice about the YouTube algorithm and streaming. This was nice, it felt like Tommy was still here. Tommy is still here.

Ranboo's entire false reality comes crashing down on a cold, rainy morning. The morning of Tommy's funeral. The one that shouldn't be happening. Why would he need a funeral when he's fine? How could he be dead when he had been messaging him the night before?

The entire affair was dreadful, but Ranboo didn't let his cheerful facade crumble. When Ranboo found out about the funeral, he called Tommy's mother to ask if he could still wear his mask and glasses. Tommy's mother curtly replied "yes, that should be fine." before hanging up. That made Ranboo feel icky. Like his friend has just died and he's only worried about concealing his face at the funeral.

He wakes up that morning fully intending on not wearing them, but finds he can't. Ranboo wears the glasses and mask, convincing himself that they only serve to hide his own tears from Tubbo. He's putting his best friend first. Before leaving for the venue, he quickly texts Tommy that he was going out for a few hours and would be back soon.

This is so obviously a joke, right? A joke that Wilbur is apparently in on, judging by his lack of attendance. Sitting in the cold church pews Ranboo comforts Tubbo, and pulls him back to their seats after his breakdown. When Tubbo starts to laugh, Ranboo genuinely smiles. Yes, this is funny. Isn't it? Who plans a whole funeral for themselves as a joke? That is exactly something Tommy would do.

Ranboo gets home afterwards and texts Tommy, telling him what a funny prank it was. He tells him that it's okay to respond and the joke is over, everyone bought it! This will make such a great vlog!

Ranboo ignores the fact that no one is responding. He ignores the fact that there are tears dripping down his chin and onto the phone, wiping it dry on his shirt. He ignores that fact that deep down, he knows. He knows that Tommy is dead. He doesn't care.

Sorry this took so long school has been kicking my ass😭. I'm not really happy with this chapter, but idrk how to write Ranboo. Hopefully I do better in the next one😅.