Growing Into You (First Draft; Unedited)

vii.

Jayen

Aoife had to help Maj around the house. There was too much work for Maj to do it alone so I was left alone with the plants and my thoughts. It had been a few days since we received the letter telling us the Lady was on her way. . . with him. She was due any day now.

I’ve done a good job ignoring that. Ignoring the tightening feeling in my chest. Suppressing my memories. If it wasn’t Mr. Widmen it was Jinan. There was nothing else to do except to throw myself into the garden. I pruned some of the flowers and I thought about Joshua.

“Remember Jay, the plants actually love this.” 

We were sitting in his backyard, tending to his garden. He was holding a pair of scissors made specifically for him and his garden. The plants that we were in front of were roses. Brillant red ones.

“It makes us feel lighter.” They said cheerfully.

I was still too scared to prune them. “Doesn’t it hurt? It’s cutting off your heads, how will you talk to me?”

They laughed, “Oh no, it is not our flowers that we exist in but the roots. Pruning us is like. . . getting a haircut! Does getting a haircut hurt?”

I shook my head. I had just started hearing plants. I didn’t want to lose it.

“You’re ten now, Jay. It’s okay to still be scared, but you can’t let it control you.”

Snip.

“Watch it!” The roses yelled at me.

“I’m so sorry.” I wasn’t paying attention and accidentally snipped a rose. The yellow flower hit the ground and I stared at it. Something so beautiful can be taken away in an instant. I thought of Aoife, briefly and chuckled to myself. I guess I did technically lose her. She’s just working somewhere else for a bit. I sat down and picked up the rose. I held it up to my face and twirled it with my fingers. The sky was a light blue color and it was around noon. The yellow in contrast to the blue felt comforting. It wasn’t too bright out and it was cool outside this time.

I heard voices in the distance behind me. I knew Maj’s voice when I heard it but I couldn’t place the other one. They were speaking too quietly. The door shut and the voices stopped as two sets of footprints crunched towards me through the grass.

“And this is Jayen. She’s our gardener.” Maj said. She was using her formal tone.

Oh no.

Oh no.

I turned my head to look who was behind me. My heart was in my throat and it tasted like fear.

Oh no.

“Hello, Jayen.”

_____________________________

Aoife

I hated dusting. I hated it so much. The dust would get in my hair and up my nose. I would be sneezing for the next thirty minutes if Maj hadn’t given me a tip. She told me to soak a rag, wring it out, and then cover my nose and mouth. I was starting to really like Maj. She was a very motherly person. I thought about something my momma told me.

“Inion, when you go off on your own. I want you to remember something.” My momma had said. She was kneeling down in front of me.

“I don’t want to leave you or grandpa.” I said. I was seven.

“Honey, it’s okay. One day you’ll add to your family, maybe a platonic family, maybe you’ll have kids, maybe someone else would be a mother figure to you but--”