Growing Into You (First Draft; Unedited)

xix.

“Jay?” Lun asked me.

“Yes?” I whispered back.

“Do you think we’ll be okay?”

We were hiding underneath a table. We were playing hide and seek with Joshua at Lun’s house. His parents were never home and the house was empty.

“What do you mean?” I craned my neck to the side to look at him.

He rested his hands on his arms. We were lying side by side. “Everyone else has parents that are there, we don’t. What if something bad happens to us and nobody cares?”

“My parents are here.”

“But they’re not there, not emotionally. Your parents don’t care if you come home or not, mine wouldn’t know.” Lun sighed.

We could hear Joshua checking the cupboards in the kitchen. Lun’s parents worked for the emperor at his palace. I don’t know what they do there but I think they’re important. Lun was two years younger then me but he was the only kid that would talk to me beside my brother.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” I closed my eyes.

Lun nodded. “Okay. What are we doing after this?”

 I shrugged. “Lunch?”

Joshua walked into the room. I could only see his patched pant legs and socks as he walked around the room. Lun put his hand over his mouth to stop from giggling. If he didn’t find us then we would win.

Joshua was facing away from us. “Come out, come out wherever you are!”

Lun giggled and Joshua whipped around to face us and ran to the table before ducking under it to look at us. “I found you!”

I stuck my tongue out and crawled out. “You wouldn’t have found us if it wasn’t for Lun.”

“I can find you no matter where you go.” Joshua said.

I was floating.

No, I was laying down. Was there a blanket on me? No, it was warmer then that. Was it a person? I tried to reach my hand out but I didn’t have the strength. I kept my eyes closed and sunk back into whoever was holding me.

“I can find you no matter where you go.” Jinan said.

“Get away from me.” I took a step back. He was blocking the front door and wouldn’t let me leave. I had my bags with me, I was going away for the weekend for my brother’s birthday.

He grabbed onto my shoulder. 

I felt heavy, and cold. Empty.

Jinan gripped my shoulder harder, driving more and more of his coldness into my arm. He would do this whenever I didn’t listen. He was a Cold Elemntal, a rare but lethal thing. I held my head up. I wasn’t going to let him make me pass out again. The last time he did this I couldn’t take it and I dropped.

“I’m only going to be gone for a few days. I promise.” I said.

“Don’t promise me. Swear to me.” He leaned in, his face inches from mine,

“I swear to you.”

“Good girl.” He let go of me and walked away, whistling a cheery song. 

I was going to make him sorry, I swore to myself. I was going to make him regret what he’s done to me. 

I’ll duel him. 

The second I can, the second I’m powerful enough.

I will make him pay.

I opened my eyes. It was dark and I was cold again. Whoever was laying with me was gone but. . . There was somebody in the room. I looked to my left, somebody was sitting on a table, they were resting their arm on my dresser and had their head resting on it. Their other hand was holding mine. No, it wasn’t just anybody. 

It was the lady.

She was holding my hand.

Lady Dupon was in my room.

I closed my eyes again.

“Do you know what love is?” Kuna was resting against a tree as I was gardening.

I had been working here for three years and had been dating Jinan for about one year. It was being to get sour at that time. He had hit me for the first time last night. I told him I was doubting our relationship.

“Yes.” I said after a while.

“Do you think Jinan loves you?”

“He told me he does.” I replied. I didn’t want to talk about it.

“But do you think he does? Love isn’t hurting somebody, Jayen. Love isn’t what you guys have.” Kuna opened one eye to look at me. “You have to leave him.”

I felt a tear go down my face. I couldn’t. What would he do? Would he hurt me or would he hurt himself? Or would do something drastic? I would be all alone without him. Nobody else likes me, nobody cares for me like he does.

“I can’t.”