The Fear of Letting Go (BoyXBoy)

Chapter One; Liam Weekes

I have never really thought of myself as a bad guy.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not the greatest person in the world. I've cheated, stolen, broken hearts, gambled, and bit off way more than I could chew, but I've never thought that made me a bad guy.

I prefer the term... misunderstood.

When I first came to America, I honestly had hoped that my beloved Blake would return to my arms, no problem. Honestly, I didn't really have a plan and I didn't really expect him to, but I certainly hoped. I smirked, remembering the look on his face when he opened the door the night I came back. The poor thing.

I hurt him, shattered that big heart of his, and he still let me in. All those years with him, I was enamored by both Blake and his sister. Rose. The perfect human beings, one for each gender. Rose, hard yet fun loving and wild. Blake, reserved, stern, but with a big heart. They were complete opposites, yet were best friends before siblings.

While Rose appeared to be the cool, relaxed and crazy sister, she was tough and fierce on the inside. Then there was Blake. He seemed like he would be hardcore, someone to break your skull if you even looked at him the wrong way, and believe me, he would, but on the inside he was a real softie.

I fell for them both, I suppose. 

However, in my absence, it appears that both of them had moved on. As much as I hated to admit it, that cheeky prat, Kai, was good for him. I curled my lip.

They were actually a good couple. Admittedly, I thought that maybe I could get some rebound sex when I heard about how upset Blake was but after I pushed him to tears... My heart just melted. I hate to say it, but Kai treats him like a king. He totally puts him on a pedestal. They way that they look at each other, even around everyone else, it's like they're constantly ripping each other's clothes off with their eyes. They shared glances so full of love and admiration, it just felt wrong to even witness. You can see how in love they are, as much as it makes me want to vomit. 

Even Rose has a boyfriend now. Not that I would ever bark up that tree again. I still have a scar on my shoulder from the last time I tangled with her. The point is, Blake was so wrapped up in his own boy drama that he didn't even notice when Rose found one of her own. And Caleb is nice enough, I suppose, but I think that pisses off Blake even more. 

I sucked in a deep breath. I currently laid on the bed of the guest room in the Clary house, a room that I had sort of taken over and claimed as my own. I cast an arm over my eyes. 

I guess I just kind of feel like I'm being left behind. Everyone else is moving on with their lives while I'm still stuck in the same position I was when the Clary's moved away. So much has changed, for everyone, and yet, here I am, still the same stubborn, bratty, man-whore that I was before. I don't like it at all. I don't know how to deal with it and I want it to stop. 

Before I knew it, everything around me had changed and I was shoved out of their lives. Yes, it was my fault, I know, but Blake has always been apart of my life. We'd been friends since we were kids. I guess I sort of just... thought that we could forgive and forget, which, I know, was stupid of me. He hates me now more than ever. That being said, at least he treats me better than the rest of his family. 

But I really shouldn't complain so much.

I mean, they did take me in and allow me to live here.

They could have just shoved me out on the streets. I know I would have.

I was torn from my train of thought as the doorbell rang throughout the house and I heard Blake shout from outside of my room, "I'm still getting ready! Liam, get the door!"