The Fear of Letting Go (BoyXBoy)

Chapter Nine; The Past is Past

The music played lowly from the speakers in the corner as I tossed a bouncy ball up at the ceiling, my bed for some reason seeming so much emptier than it really was. 

West didn't call me that night and he hasn't called me for nearly three days. I haven't tried reaching him either simply because I was afraid. And if he wanted to talk to me, well, he would have called when he said he would. Or at least he would have by now.

The floor creaked and there was a small knock against the door. I peaked over, to see Blake leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. He cocked his head. "I heard you blew West off the other day."

I hesitated, scowling at the ceiling. I gave the ball in my hand a squeeze before tossing it back up. "That I did, love."

"I heard that you blew him off for some old fuck who asked you for a lay," He continued, tipping his chin to me. I felt my heart clench.

"He was hot. Not that old," I lied, not looking up.

"Yeah? I sure hope he was good enough in bed for you to ditch the one guy that you've fallen madly in love with then."

"Like you wouldn't believe," I replied with a bitter, sour taste on my tongue.

I was lying, straight through my teeth. Of course I didn't sleep with that jackass. I didn't even make it out of the restaurant. As soon as we were out of sight, I punched him in the jaw and ran straight for the bathroom. I stayed in there for about twenty minutes before finally pulling myself together enough to walk out and call a cab. I couldn't do it. I couldn't go with him.

The thought of going anywhere with him disgusted me like you wouldn't believe.

Blake wrinkled his nose, shaking his head. "So, what, you're just done with West?"

I stopped bouncing the ball, placing it on my chest. I stared at the ceiling, not wanting to look over at Blake. I sucked in a breath.

"Yep."

"Really? That's too bad," He mused with a shrug, walking into my room but staying close to the walls. I sighed, rolling my eyes, replying blandly.

"Yeah? And why's that, love?"

"Oh. Just because West was going to ask you out," Blake said simply with a shrug. I blinked, taking a minute to process, before jerking around to stare Blake in the face. He quirked a brow, crossing his arms once more. He stared at me with this disappointed, ashamed stare, his stormy eyes slicing straight through me. "You know. Like on a date. Movies, dinner, you know. Dating. He was waiting for the perfect moment to do it, but I guess you didn't give him the chance, huh?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I demanded, instantly sitting up, spinning around to face him. "How do you know that?"

"Kai called me and told me that he and West had a little heart to heart about you and West admitted it," Blake breathed with a shrug of his shoulders. He cocking his head slightly, eyeing me. He looked... disappointed, more than anything. My chest felt tight and I felt a lump in my throat as Blake clicked his tongue and sighed. "He said he wanted to be with you. How's that for fucked up, huh?"

My mouth felt dry. I swallowed roughly, shaking my head. I balled my hands into fists. "No. N-No. No way. You're lying."

"Why would I lie about something like that?" He snorted, shaking his head. "And besides, why would you want me to be lying about it?"

I wet my lips anxiously, dragging a hand through my hair. "You have to be. You have to be lying. You're fucking with me because i-if you weren't, then that would mean that I have officially fucked everything up. P-Please... Say you're joking."