The Fear of Letting Go (BoyXBoy)

Chapter Eight; Almost Date

~Liam*~

I sat down on the bed, dangling my cell phone between my fingers. I sucked in a breath and leaned on my hand. I needed someone to talk to. I had already talked to Blake about all of this stuff going on with West but I felt like I needed more than one opinion on this.

I wanted someone else to talk to. I wanted to talk about it, get it all out in the open. An outside view, you know? See what I should do or if I'm just losing my mind.

I actually had been trying to talk to someone in particular but I couldn't really get up the guts to do it. I didn't even know if she would really even want to.

Anxiously, I mustered up all of my courage, I pulled up the number I wanted to call and pressed dial. I slowly raised the phone to my ear and wet my lips. I swallowed dryly, my heartbeat going fast and faster with every beat of the dial tone. Finally, after what had felt like hours, there was a click and a beep.

"Hi, you've reached Cassidy Weekes," The sweet voice said soft like wind chimes. I felt my heart skip a beat and I began to sputter. A smile rose to my lips, hearing that voice that I hadn't heard in ages.

"Uh, h-hey, Mom, it's me, Liam. I was wondering if I could talk to you about something that I-," I started but I was cut off and I felt my heart sink.

"I can't get to the phone right now but if you leave a message, I'll be sure to get back to you later!" The answering machine said in a cheerful voice and I ground my teeth together, slowly lowering the phone to my lap once again. I sucked in a deep breath, cursing myself for even getting my hopes up. I raked a hand through my hair and switched my phone off, tossing it to the side.

She couldn't even answer my phone call. Of course she couldn't.

Maybe... Maybe she was busy, right?

That was my mom... Always busy.

"Liam? Liam, I've been calling for you for almost fifteen minutes! You need to pick up all of your shoes, they're cluttering up my- Liam? Is something wrong?" A voice said from the doorway and I lifted my head and peered over my shoulder, seeing Mindy leaning against the doorframe, her pretty brows furrowed at me and a concerned look on her face.

I sighed, shaking my head. I looked down at my hands and spread them in front of me. Drawing in a shaky breath, I asked quietly, "You're in love with David, right?"

She took a step into my room cautiously and made her way around the bed. "Of course I am. We're married. Why do you ask?"

I glanced up at her, cocking my head and examining her. I pursed my lips, my heart aching in my chest. "What does it feel like?"

Her pretty eyes widened slightly in surprise and she crossed her arms, walking closer to me. She slowly lowered herself onto the bed beside me. She quietly, gently spoke to me, in a way that was unfamiliar, something that my own mother never really spoke to me like. No matter how kind she sounded on the answering machine, when it came to me, she changed completely. Mindy, however, sounded genuinely concerned. "Honey... Liam, is this about that boy, the one that kept you out all night?"

I lowered my head, letting my hair fall into my face. I swallowed the lump that had started to form in my throat roughly and put my head in my hands.

"I-I don't know why I'm feeling like this," I sputtered out finally, not looking up at her. "It-It's like he has this- this hold on me that I just don't understand. I want to be with him, be near him, and make him smile. I've never felt like this before and I-I don't know what to do, Mindy, I just... I can't eat, sleep... I don't even go out anymore because all of the old things that I used to enjoy so much just... don't seem that fun anymore."