One Foot In The Grave

Chapter 21: The Watershed

Bhanu, Day 1

The leftover sun kissed her cheek when she bent down to pick the broomstick at the front end of the shed. Bhanu never enjoyed working as a maid. She wanted to live in the city and act in the movies. Be a heroine in a big movie, get popular and give out autographs. But now dreams are meant to be collapsed, aren't they? She strolled out and into her room and began sweeping the floor. She told herself this was only until her brother completes his studies. She believed in him more than anyone. She knew he would take care of her once he got settled; take her to the city and show her everything. Jagadeesh promised her the same things all these days, anyway. 'That lying piece of shit. How dare he offer me money?' The mention of his name brought back the panic. She walked among the rising dust and brushed it out with a swing of the arm.

Bhanu tied her hair back and watched the house. Dwaraka always seemed lonely to her as if it needed the company of another house. Another family. Another world. The house was silent, and she assumed Yamuna hadn't come home yet. So she went back and settled on her bed, legs close to her chest. Sweat glistened on her bare neck. Little droplets fell one by one into her blouse and she cursed the heat, looking at the ceiling fan. Everything seemed clumsy. She wished for someone to talk to. Not Suvarna, because she would hit her. The horror would be the equivalent of telling a mother.

Bhanu picked her phone, and the signals stood at one point. Her brother hadn't returned her calls yet. Would he get angry if I say I'm pregnant? Would he laugh at my stupidity? Or would he offer to care for me?

Bhanu had a million questions firing in her brain like uranium atoms on the first day of the Chernobyl accident. They crossed her head, skull, and body, forming an aura of fear around her. She had just met Jagadeesh on the muddy road, where he hid in the bushes waiting for her. In the beginning, such feats used to make her laugh and believe he was genuinely happy with her. They had secret places all over the village to meet. At his nursery. In the ruined building beyond the lake. Once, he had even sneaked into Dwaraka one night. She had been afraid that Yamuna would wake up, but she also loved the rush of the adrenaline. Not once had she thought sleeping with a married guy was a mistake. She wholeheartedly trusted him to love her. She expected him to stand for her, take her to places and provide a life she never dreamed of. In the end, he proved her wrong. How could she blame him? He had been looking for fun and to get away from his hot-headed wife. She was the one who imagined everything.

Her heartbeat steadily rose. Like a train that left the station a minute ago.

Bhanu began thinking. 'What will the villagers say? Will they taint my character? Call me names? Blame me for wooing the richest guy in the village? Or is it safe to do what Jagadeesh has suggested and get an abortion?'

She prayed that doctor Ramesh would keep his promise. And she was worried that Kalyani must've seen Jagadeesh when the bus stopped near the muddy road. That girl's tongue was more slippery than their roads in the rainy season. According to her, a mistake never remained as a mistake in Aranyavaram. Once it gets out, it becomes an unstoppable wildfire that demands sacrifice.

Now her heartbeat turned unsteady, making her dizzy and loopy.

Bhanu decided to divert her thoughts. Work seemed like an option for that. She locked her room and walked to the back door of Dwaraka. Yamuna had asked for a sweet tonight and she could cook early. The air, without a speck of moisture, sizzled and fizzed. Summer caressed her unbalanced body, and she used the loose end of her saree to clean her face.

When she neared the door, a whisper reached her ears. Curious, she slowed and went near the wall.

"This is important," said the voice.

Bhanu frowned, wondering if Yamuna had already arrived. But the voice sounded masculine. Faint, yet a man's for sure. She thought it was familiar too.

"I gave you so much," Yamuna said.

Bhanu forwarded to the door and stood outside. She hesitated to go inside and disturb the conversation. Yamuna never liked it.

"But you have so much more," said the man.

"Will you stop whining like a kid?"

"I won't, because I'm tired of doing camps and touching people." The man seemed annoyed.

"Then, don't. Sit in your hospital and hire more nurses."

Hospital? Camp? Doctor Ramesh's name flickered in Bhanu's head. It was him.

"We've always been in this together. Why can you flaunt around in cars and costly sarees? And I have to stay a boring doctor?"

"We made a deal, and I honoured it."

"Please, you slept with me and I helped you get rich. Don't give it fancy names," the doctor snapped.

Bhanu controlled a snort. Yamuna slept with the doctor?

"I had paid you too much already."

"I want more. I want a steady life for the risk I took for you."

"Stop beating around the bushes and say what you want?" Yamuna's voice lost its nicety.

"Marry me."

"Have you lost your goddamn mind? Do you know how old we both are?"

"Or show me a way to not work for the rest of my life."

A minute went in silence and Bhanu hadn't moved.

"If I say no, then what?"

The doctor erupted into laughter and stopped huffing. "Then, I will have to talk with your son. Explain to him how his father's paralysis wasn't exactly a God-given curse."

Yamuna scoffed. "Blackmail?"

Bhanu's heart shifted to high speed, but not because of her problem. She remained numb and confused about what to do.

"I can be pretty detailed. After all, I helped you, didn't I?"

Before they said another word, Bhanu absentmindedly stepped back. The gravel welcomed her feet. But a twig in the way didn't. It broke, sending a sudden crack out into the windless evening.

The kitchen door banged open and Yamuna stood in front with a knife in her hand. Panic filled Bhanu. She began thinking of reasons to justify her presence. Alas, none came. She had been overwhelmed.

"Bhanu?" Yamuna called. A benevolent smile spread across her tired face. "I didn't hear you coming."

"I ju-just came."

"Is that so?"

No one spoke. Bhanu watched the knife in Yamuna's right hand glinting in the kitchen's light.

"I-I came to cook dinner."

"Yes? Yes." Yamuna's eyes screened her.

The doctor stood in silence, his hands folded, leaning onto the stove table.

The situation seemed out of her hands. Or so Bhanu thought, which forced her to the final decision of her life. She took two steps back, breath heavy.

Yamuna rolled her eyes. "God."

The knife flew into the air before Bhanu twisted sidewards and pierced her chest. The hit had the force of a shotgun bullet and Bhanu propelled onto the wall behind. Blood spitted out her mouth, her body trembling with breathless fits and later, shut down dead.

Her heartbeat bid goodbye to no one in particular.