𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖 | 𝔻𝕊𝕄ℙ 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥

38: Suffer Because Of Me

The Dream House Part Thirty Eight

TW: Mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts.
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Tommy's POV

It's a Thursday, now two something in the afternoon. I woke up at eleven, did some homework, had a shower then... sat in the locked bathroom with a knife. Phil, Karl, Ranboo and Tubbo all agreed that I was not in a good mental state to return to school. What they didn't know is that if they sent me to school, I would not have used the knife on myself.... Again.

I really hate school but I feel like going to school can distract me from cutting myself. I just don't want to tell Phil that because then he'd ask why I'm harming myself like yesterday with Ranboo but over and over again. Can I just die? I mean I wouldn't have to worry about school and I wouldn't have to let others suffer because of me. Really though, I don't see what's wrong with it.

I tried to ignore those thoughts before I do something I'd regret so I checked my phone. A bunch of messages from the group, recent ones seemed like Wilbur hid something from Fundy and Hannah but Jack told them? I don't know. All I know is that Wilbur said we'd go to the park today but I bet that plan's down the drain. I'm not surprised, Wilbur doesn't like me anyway. I came outside for lunch, Karl seeing me from the kitchen.

"Tommy! I forgot you didn't go to school today. How are you?" Karl greeted.

"I'm tired but alright. You?" I answered.

"I'm fine too. I made noodles, it's on the stove. It's hot so be careful when you take it." Karl said, walking past me towards the stairs.

"Okay." I whispered, taking a bowl.

I took the noodles and walked to the living room while eating. Jack, Hannah and Fundy were there on their phones except for Jack.

"Jack." I called from behind him.

"Oh, hey, Tommy! You feeling better?" Jack asked, shuffling a deck of UNO cards.

"Yeah. Um, what was the texts in the group just a few minutes ago all about?" I questioned before putting a fork of noodles in my mouth.

"Niki came back and she's in Wilbur's room. Wil got a call from Niki during our card game and ran upstairs, now we're just waiting on him." Jack replied, putting the cards in a box.

Right, she called me yesterday. I hope she's alright.

"Oh, okay." I responded, muffled since my mouth was filled with food.

I kind of want to do something. Maybe go somewhere to clear my mind. I know there's a park somewhat nearby. Who am I kidding? It's like more than 2 miles away and I'd have to walk. I just don't want to be in this house.

After I finished eating, I waited until the others weren't looking to go out because I didn't want them to ask me a million questions. Hannah was now in her room, Fundy was in the kitchen, Jack was facing the stairs.

I sneakily went out the door, holding onto my phone tightly. I crossed the road and paced down the street. I remembered about the times when Phil, Wilbur, Tubbo and I would go for happy walks, those memories I had stayed vivid.

"Look at the bees!"

"Don't go there, Tubbo!"

We'd spend hours on the swings.

"The clouds look so pretty."

"Like cotton candy!"

Wilbur would be brave and search the woods, sometimes bringing back butterflies, frogs, or something he caught in his hands.

"What's in your hand?"

"It's a ladybug, look."

When the world was happy and we were still young. I want to be more like Wilbur, he's not even afraid of anything.

Third POV

It's already a dramatic day for some people in the Dream House, little did they know it was just beginning to get worse. Every time they deal with something, another thing comes up. I mean you got to expect that, there's a lot of them and they have their own things going on. All of them living in a house so big, you'd spend hours playing hide and seek.

Karl has been hiding something from the rest, he usually does this because he thinks everyone else has more important things to work on. Dream has been acting different also as if he was hiding something. Tubbo is mad, he's being ignored at school while Tommy is dehydrated and in a park alone, acting as if he can beat anything coming his way when inside he's actually really afraid.
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[760 words]