The Closet Is Made Of All Kinds Of Wood

Chapter Three - Intentions

Lilly's Perspective

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"Do you think Ethan might like me?" Asks my precocious best friend Lexi, as we walk along the main road exiting our high school. Laced with trees and with few cars, it's a peaceful walk, and I silently think as Lexi recounts her day.

School was horrible today. I mean, school is terrible everyday, but today was especially bad. Marchindon High School is academic school alright, but it sure as shit isn't accepting. Everyday, there are more whispers, more rumours, more stares. But I guess that's what you get when you come out as a lesbian at a Catholic school, where you are taught that homosexuality is a sin and the only way to not get pregnant is to not have sex at all. Ha.

Still, at least I have a few friends here. At home I have no one. My older brother, Anthony, left home three years ago to pursue a music career that our parents wouldn't let him have, and now I only hear from him when he sends me a sad little text at Christmas. I don't blame him for leaving. My parents are the most homophobic, racist, sexist people you may ever meet, and I see less and less of them everyday, partly due to the fact that I'm afraid of my father, and because my mother believes that women should not be in the workforce and must stay at home and be a housewife and mother, which I profusely refute. I try hard to distance myself from them.

And now I've only gone and fallen for whom I can only presume is a straight girl, and all I can think about is her. The way her curls bounce when she walks, how her lips crinkle when she smiles, - Oh god, I'm gushing. What is happening to me?

Talking to Abby is the the one thing that lights up my day, even though recently she's been avoiding me. My life is desolate and boring, and without her, I don't think I would have made it this far into the year. The only problem is the fact that she has shown no sign of wanting anything to do with me. You know what, forget it. My life sucks.

"I mean, he's quite cute, and he smiled at me in Science Class today, and then Mrs. Dwire yelled at him and he still kept smiling and I know that he's Tess' ex boyfriend, but Tess and I aren't really friends, so would she be mad? And he -" I stop her nonsense mid sentence, realising that she's only talking because I haven't said anything for the past ten minutes.

"I'm sorry, but what are we actually talking about? Do you really have a crush on Ethan? Ethan? Oh Lexi, I though you knew better," I say, now disappointed in her choices of potential mates. You'd have to be blind, deaf and in a coma to think that guy is anything but a massive, utter, scummmy douchebag. "I just don't know what to say."

Her face falls, and I realise I've said the wrong thing. I've known Lexi for an extremely long time, and she has a tendency to be a tad on the sensitive side, which is the polar opposite to my somewhat heated disposition.

"Oh Lexi, I'm just being stupid, grow up a little! We don't have time to discuss the merits of dating a prick when I have more important things on my mind." I blurt, before I can stop myself. Lexi shoots me one of her infamous death glares, and I anxiously await her retort. She may be sweet on the outside, but her core is fueled by the hearts of sacrificed virgins.

"You have more important things on your mind? What, like Abby, the straight chick you constantly hit on, who has never reciprocated, and now she most likely thinks you're a freak? Or do you want to talk about how fucking depressed you are, like you do every other second of the day? How about we have a nice little chat about the fact that your parents fucking hate you?" She shouts, her voice echoing as we walk along a road crowded with houses, but empty of pedestrians. Blood has rushed to her face, changing her tan complexion to one of deep red. "Are you noticing a pattern here? You never stop complaining about how crap your life is, and it's killing me! I miss the old Lilly.'"

My hearts sinks to the floor, and I know what she's saying is probably true. Do I really complain all the time? It takes a lot to crack a tough nut like Lexi, so I must do it enough for her to notice and get mad about it. Just as I am about to scream a rebuttal with something extremely rude that I know I will regret later, a sudden movement stops us both in our tracks.

Emerging from an oddly shaped tree in the front yard of pastel coloured modern home, a tracksuit clad redhead who absolutely reeks of marijuana struts towards us. "There's no need to yell ladies! Charlie can hear you loud and clear, and she knows exactly what you need. Drugs!'"

She says it all with a smile on her face, and I can't help but smile back, feeling my anger ooze away. This could be just what the doctor ordered. Charlie Joy is the town drug dealer, and while I haven't done any hardcore drugs, Charlie and I have met on a few different occasions. She is also never without a happy expression. Personally, I think it's all the weed.

She kneels over, and starts laying small plastic bags on someone's lawn. I glance around quickly, and since the street is still empty, I breathe a sigh of relief. While I don't mind being seen with Charlie, I worry about Lexi, who has a crystal clear image.

Lexi is the first to react verbally. "If you're trying to sell us drugs, we aren't interested," She says, with a slight touch of arrogance. Lexi has a strictly no drugs policy, because she believes that even having the slightest contact with any drug will ruin her life forever. Me, well I've had a few smokes here and there. Some ecstasy to help wash them down. With LSD for dessert. And then some.

But Lexi doesn't have to know that.

I shoot her a look, but Charlie is indifferent to her statement, and motions for the two of us to come closer. The bags are labeled, and the contents range from powders to pills, some brightly coloured, others dull shades of white.

"Is that all you got?" I question, and now it is Lexi's turn to glare at me. I stare back as Charlie ruffles through the pockets of her yellow sweater and brings out a larger container. She carefully passes it to me, and I slowly, dramatically lift the lid. Inside are three, clean, new syringes, encased in dark plastic foam.

"What the fuck are those for-'" begins Lexi, but I already know exactly what the needles are for. Could they offer me the sweet escape I long for?

"Heroin," Charlie mumbles with a small giggle. Time slows down as the next sentence falls out of her mouth. "Do you want some?"

My instincts take over, and without even thinking, words appear in the air.

"Yes.'"