The Closet Is Made Of All Kinds Of Wood

Chapter Ten - Pain

Written by @qualifiedfornothing from Abby's perspective .

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Hands grabbing at each other.

Blink.

Lips and tongues dancing.

Blink.

Moans fill the air.

Blink.

Two bodies pushed up against a wall.

Blink.

Both shirtless.

Blink.

It's like a train crash, horrible and surreal. I can't tear my eyes away. So I just stand here and stare in disbelief. What is happening?

Right there in front of me, lips locked with Lilly, Zach, someone I considered a friend.

"Oh my god! Abbey-" Tess gasps behind me. The two of us are standing here, in the middle of an almost empty hallway, staring at the kissing couple in front of us. Tess places a hand on my shoulder, but I flinch at her touch. No. This can't be happening. Holy fuck. No. Bile rises up in my throat. I can't be here. I wrench myself out of Tess's grip and run down the hall desperate to get away. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I emerge into the living room, panting. I rush for the door and thread my way through the throngs of people. I bump into a tall muscular body.

"Sorry" I mutter in my haste to get away. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Tess yelling at Lilly, and I know it's only a matter of seconds before she comes running after me.

"Abby!" a familiar voice calls after me. Ethan. He stands opposite to me, with his brows furrowed and a worried expression. "Hey, what's wrong." he asks, visibly concerned.

"Not now, Ethan." I try to move around him but he steps back into my path. "Ethan, if you don't move this insist I will-" Anxiety rises in my throat, cutting me off. Breathe Abby, just breathe.

Ethan shakes me by the shoulders, pulling me out of a daze. "Abby! What the fuck is wrong?" He says, with obvious concern in his voice. If I don't leave now I'll cry. Or die. I'm not sure which. I glance at the stairs to see Lilly running towards me. I feel my heart break a little.

"Can you get me out of here?" I say desperately to Ethan. He looks a little shocked at my request but still nods.

"Come on, quickly." He wraps an arm around me and we turn our backs on a wild party that's probably just getting started.

***

Shit. I'm in Ethan's car. The guy who was a dick to me and kissed me- and it was an unwanted kiss, I might add. What the fuck am I doing? The car is silent. Should I ask him about it? No. I shouldn't.

But I'm going to anyway.

"Ethan, the other day, why did you kiss me?" I turn to Ethan abruptly, all while trying to focus on anything but Lilly. That cheating little bitch.

"Ahh, it's a bit of a long story." We stop at a traffic light but he can't meet my eyes.

"Ethan." I yell. "Come on! No one's here, what's the problem? I want to know! You can't just kiss someone for no reason. Did you do it to shut me up? Or was it to..."

"Jesus Christ Abby...." Ethan stares out the window and the light turns green but we don't move. A car honks as it drives around us but still Ethan doesn't move. I feel my mouth begin to open, about to say something rude about his driving skills. His arm leans against the frame of the window as words fall out his mouth. "Abby, I'm gay."

What? Did I just hear what I think I heard? Ethan Richards, man whore extraordinaire, new girlfriend every day, homosexual? My bottom lip sinks to the ground.

I'm gay." he says with a shrug. His face is red, but his dark blonde hair covers his eyes.

"For how long have you known? Does any else know?"

"Probably since I started on the football team. My boyfriend knows." he says flipping off yet another car that drives around us.

"Boyfriend!?" Wait what.....

"Um yeah." he says finally pulling back into traffic.

"Who?" I question, with an innocent tone. Who could be Ethan's boyfriend? The only openly gay person at Marchindon High is Lilly, and funnily enough, she happens to be female.

"Jacob." He says, glancing over at me for the first time in ever. Jacob? The Jacob that Tess is in love with? Well, that explains a lot. Jacob is gay. Okay then!

"Why haven't you told anyone?"

"My parents have a plan for me to be just like Dad. Train. Get picked up from one of the big football teams. Train harder. Become a big star. Retire aged thirty with a trophy wife and become a lawyer or some other mindless career. Being gay doesn't come into that plan. You know, I tried to tell my dad once, and he just dismissed it. 'How many chicks are you pulling?' He asked me. He couldn't imagine any son of his being anything but straight. And I hate it!" Ethan mutters the last words and his knuckles turn white as he clutches the steering wheel.

Wow. Okay. Ethan's dad is a wanker.

"So all the fooling around?" I ask. How can the biggest player in the school be gay? I just don't get it. So many girls! So many hearts broken.

"Yeah, most of those chicks were disappointed in the bedroom." He says, pulling into a drive way. Ethan's house is nice. He goes to open the door, but I grab his shoulder and pull him back into his seat.

"You didn't answer my question. Why did you kiss me? You being gay just confuses me more." He doesn't answer me but I stare at him until he squirms.

"Alright, I only did it because my dad was suspicious because he found Jacob at our house at four in the morning. I told him Jacob had a fight with his mum and he just wanted to cool off but I could tell he didn't believe me. I don't want to tell him yet. He is just so judgmental and god, just so homophobic. I kissed you because that was what my dad was like in school: a rapey dickwad." Ethan sinks into his the leather chair, looking defeated.

His situation reminds me so much of Lilly.

Lilly.

Tears prickle in my eyes, and I burst into tears. How could she do this to me? Why would she do this to me? She must have lied when she said she wouldn't do drugs anymore. I'm so disappointed, I can't deal with this right now. So I do the only thing I know how to. I push the thought down and focus on something else. Something like... My god, I have an idea. The tears dry from my eyes as the plan formulates in my mind.

"Ethan. You know how sometimes a gay chick and a gay dude date so they look straight?"

"Isn't that called a beard? I don't understand what this has to do with anything." I catch his eyes, and suddenly he realises. "That is one hell of an idea."