you were mine

three - "fawn-tastic"

"Dad, I'm home." I yell as I close the door behind me, the sound echoing through the entrance hall. I wouldn't say I have a large house. But it's definetly not small. Sometimes I wish it was smaller.

"I'm in here." my dad's scraggly voice rings from the kitchen. I let out a breath as I set my bag down on the cold, tile floor, slip my shoes off, and start my way to the kitchen. I sigh as I look at the mess around me. When my mother passed my father fell into a depressive state, he still took care of me--and for that, I will forever be grateful--but the house was a mess. He had to hire someone to clean it until I got old enough to do it myself. And ever since I started taking care of him, he's stopped taking care of me. He quit his job two years ago, only living off the money he's inherited from his family--which is a lot.

I walk into the kitchen, trying to avoid looking at the mess, and over to where he is. "Hey, dad, missed you." I smile as I lean down, wrapping my arms around him. He lets out a quiet breath and pats my hand, "I missed you too, dear, sorry I couldn't get rid of the mess." his voice is practically robotic. Never changing tone, or pitch, it's always the same.

"Don't worry about that, I'll take care of it."

He turns his head looking up at me, his eyes have bags under them, and his hair is falling out. He gets worse every year. "You look more like your mother every day." he breathes out and I give him a sympathetic smile, "Do you want me to get you set up in the library? Maybe I could clean some of this up." I suggest, he nods.

"You should invite some friends over. That boy--what's his name?--Draco, you should invite Draco. I'd hate for you to be alone." he pushes himself up, using the table to balance himself. I let out a quiet laugh as I wrap my arm around him, "I'm not alone, dad, you're here."

"I'm nothing, might as well be alone. Just no sleeping in the same room." he turns his head, trying his best to force a smile and wink. I smile and shrug, "I'll think about it."

I get him set up in the library with a cup of tea and one of his favorite books. "If you need anything just call for me, alright?" I say as I make my way toward the two doors, "Alright." he says, now focused on the book. I sigh as I open the doors and walk out, shutting them behind me.

I walk back over to the front door, grab my bag, and sling it over my shoulder. I sigh as I make my way up the flight of stairs toward my room. Fifteen steps. I counted them when I started cleaning because I had to carry large loads of laundry down and the clothes would block my view. So I counted the steps so I knew when they ended. Now I have a habit of counting them every time I walk up or down them.

I make the turn into my room, the first door on the left, the one with a big, green 'A' on it. My mother painted it when she was pregnant with me, a week before I was born. It used to hang over a window in my nursery until I moved into a bigger room and hung it outside of my door. I swing the door open, the scent of dust filling my nose. My father doesn't go into my room when I'm gone, he doesn't walk up the stairs. The upper level of the house contains my room, my bathroom, the guest room, my mother's craft room, and a storage room. He has no use for these things, the only rooms he needs are the kitchen, the library, the master bath, and the master bedroom.

I shut the door behind me and set my bag on my bed, I walk over to my window and pull the curtain aside--letting the light shine in. I can see the dust particles floating around, I've always found them interesting. I walk over to my bag and start to pull out my things. A year's worth of clothes, my books, my toiletries, the picture Theodore drew of me--he likes to draw when he's nervous but you didn't hear that from me, the framed picture of me and Draco in our first year--taken at my first visit to the Manor. I hang the clothes up, add the books to my bookshelf, tape the picture to my wall near my desk, and set the frame up on my nightstand. The only thing this room needs is dusting. Then I can get to the rest of the house.