you were mine

seventeen - red

I scrubbed myself until my skin feels like its peeling off. My eyes are sore from the crying, my head is pounding, and my entire body is tired. It's four in the morning. I've been showering for two hours after an hour of crying to Theo who offered to stay in my room tonight and I accepted the offer.

I step out of the steaming water and let out a breath, wrapping the towel around myself. I look at the fogged-up mirror and sigh at my blurred reflection, I still feel dirty. Never have I looked in the mirror and truly felt disgusting but now that I know that Marcus Flint sees me as another piece of meat, I feel truly distasteful.

I put on my clothes, the loosest things I could find because I don't want anything to touch me anywhere, and brush my hair carefully. Part of me feels I'm overreacting, things could have been worse, but I know that I'm not. Marcus was going to do worse if I didn't get away, he did terrible things already.

I step out of the bathroom and take a breath of the cool, not steamy, air. "How are you feeling?" Theo asks as he stands up from my desk, I shrug, "Dirty."

"You just took an hour-long shower, Anna. I promise you, you're not dirty." he smiles at me sympathetically and I roll my eyes, "Don't do that, Theo. You know I hate that." I shake my head.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't pity me. I don't need to be pitied."

"Anna, baby, you need to calm down. You've had a bad day and I'm so sorry I wasn't there or that it even happened. So of course I'm going to look like I'm sorry. Please, let me be sorry just this once."

I nod as I look up at him, "Fine."

He smiles as he goes to wrap his arms around me, "Can I?" he whispers and I nod again. He continues to hold me as I lean onto his chest.

"I was so scared, Theo."

"Can I ask you something?" he says, pulling away and I look up at him, "Did you like--invite Marcus over to sit with you? Or have you and Marcus talked before and I just don't remember? I'm just trying to figure out what you could have done that made him think he could--you know."

I push him away from me and scoff, "I didn't do anything to make him think he could do that, Theo. How could you even say that? I didn't want him to do that. I didn't ask him to do that. What makes you think I would want him to."

"I was just saying obviously he got the idea from somewhere and maybe you just didn't realize what vibe you were putting off." he shrugs and I can feel my heart starting to race again.

"What vibe I was putting off? I was pushing him off of me, Theodore. I was begging him to stop, do you think my vibe was clear enough or should I have had done more to get him to take his hands out of my pants?" I spit out and he shakes his head.

"You're taking this the wrong way, Anna. You're overreacting a bit. I just asked a question." Theo scoffs and I shake my head.

"Get the fuck out." I spit.

"What?" he laughs.

"I said 'get the fuck out'!" I yell, grabbing a glass from beside my bed and throwing it at the wall across the room, away from Theodore.

"Anna, stop. Please. Just listen to me, I'm just trying to help."

"You're blaming this on me, Theodore. As if I wanted all of this. As if I got on my knees and begged Marcus to shove his hands in my pants and to breath on me and make me feel disgusting. You're ridiculous, Theodore, and I want you out of my room." I spit and he sighs as he walks out, slamming the door behind him, making me jump.

"Fuck! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" I scream with tears boiling up again. I hate this. I hate Marcus. I hate Theodore. I hate my mother for dying and I hate Voldemort for killing her. I hate my father for drinking. I hate this school and it's disgusting students.

"Belle?" the door swings open just as I'm about to fall to the floor. I'm overreacting. I'm being dramatic. This is stupid.

"Don't worry, Belle. You're okay." Draco whispers in my ear as his arms wrap around me and we go to the floor together. He positions himself so he'a holding me up while leaning against my bed-frame. "Just breathe, Belle. I promise I won't leave." he coos as his runs his hand through my hair. "I'm so sorry." he cracks out as he squeezes me closer to him.

We sit like that for what feels like hours but I'm sure is only minutes before I get myself together and look up at him, "Is it my fault, Draco? Am I just overreacting? Do I come off as—wanting that?"

"Don't ever say that, Belle, don't even think it. None of this is your fault. You have every right to be upset and you did not want him to do that. Trust me, Belle. I know you didn't." he assures me and that's when I notice the blood splattered on his face and the bust in his lip.

"Oh my Merlin, Draco, what did you do? Are you okay?"

Draco

All I see is red as my fists continuously connect with Flint's face. I can feel the smack of skin against my knuckles, I can feel the warm splatter of his blood against my face. I've been at it so long he's stopped fighting. He could be dead. I want him dead.

He thought he had the right to touch, Belle. To mess her up like that. He's disgusting. He's dirt, trash, a no-good piece of shit that deserves to never see light again.

"Draco! Back off man! What the fuck?" I hear someone yell but it buzzes inside my head. I can see even more red and Flint isn't even making noise anymore, he's completely limp.

I feel hand pulling me off of him and I try to fight back but my body is suddenly aware of how tired I am. I glance down at Flint, his face is no longer his, it's covered in blood and morphed into an ugly monster - like form.

"You need to go, right now. You could get arrested for this. I don't even want to ask what you're doing." Blaise yells and I nod still in a daze as I run off.

<><><><><>

I'm holding Belle in my arms, trying my best not to wake her. It took a while to get her to stop asking what I did to Marcus after I washed my face off in her bathroom. I could never tell her, she hates when I get into fights, but I'm sure she could understand this one.

I feel like I'm disrespecting Theodore in some way, but there's a reason he's not here and that there's glass still scattered on Belle's floor. So I can be here however she needs me to be and right now that's laying beside her in her bed with her head resting on my chest. I have to admit that something feels right about this. I hate to say it, only because now that she's with Theodore I don't have a chance. Even if she wisely decides to break up with him she still would never think twice about me since I'm 'friends' with Theodore. However, I will always be here.

Recently I've been able to admit my small thoughts of Belle, just the obvious ones. Just enough to say maybe, just maybe, I have a very small liking toward her.

I run my bruised hands through Belle's hair and sigh, my entire goal is to protect this girl and even after what I've done to Marcus I still feel as if I've failed. Because maybe if I hadn't of gotten upset about her and Theo, she would have been hanging out with us instead of sitting alone outside.