you were mine

twelve - dinner?

I wake up with sweat covering my body and my mouth feeling sticky. I groan as I kick the duvet off of me but freeze as I hear someone else groan.

No. No. No. No.

I roll over and look at the boy beside me. I quickly shoot a glance down at myself, I'm dressed, completely but there is always time to throw clothes back on. I roll onto my back and put my hands on my head, trying to recall the events of last night.

Theo and I, the one-for-one, dancing, but I don't remember anything after that. Fuck.

I slide out of bed, careful not to wake him up, and walk into my bathroom. I look in the mirror at the smeared makeup on my face and the way my hair sticks straight up from the amount of spray in my hair. I glance at the floor at my dress dropped in front of the shower door. Fuck. I definitely would have had time to put clothes on if I showered.

I wash my face and redo my hair before walking back out. I glance and Theo who is now sitting up and looking at the book I had on my nightstand. "Um, good morning." I cough out and he looks at me with a smile.

"Good morning, Anna."

"Did we-you know?" I sigh at the awkwardness and he laughs, "Did we what, Anna?"

"Theo, please."

"No, we did not. I wouldn't take advantage of you like that. Especially since you did win the competition. I brought you up here because I didn't know if you would have been comfortable waking up in my room. I brought you because you were starting to look sick from the drinks and you told me I could stay over." he laughs.

I let out a sigh of relief, "Oh thank god."

"Wow, you don't have to look so scared that we slept together." he scowls and I smile as I slip back into bed beside him.

"Theo, it's no offense to you but I would at least like to remember my first time." I shrug and he looks at me.

"Oh. Well, I'm glad we didn't do anything then. I would want to make it a little more special. For you at least, it would be fun for me no matter what." he shrugs and I roll my eyes.

"So, now what?" I say and he shrugs, "Well, um, I like you, Anna."

I don't know how to react. I love Theo, of course, but I don't know if I love him like that. Or even like him like that.

"I know, it's weird, but I think we could—you know—try. I understand if you don't feel the same way, or if you just don't want to, but you're amazing Anna, and you're always here and I can't help it. Just let me take you to dinner or something."

I don't know what to think. Maybe this is a trauma response to his mother's passing. Maybe it's a prank, something Draco put him up to. Maybe it could work.

"Um, yeah. We can go somewhere, um, do we tell Draco though?" it feels wrong even thinking about hiding this from Draco but with how protective he is I can already see how he will react. He'll say we're going to 'ruin the trio'. He'll say that Theo won't treat me right. He thinks no one can treat me right.

"Why wouldn't we?" Theo laughs.

He's right. Draco has no say in this. We're all friends but that doesn't mean he gets to control what Theo and I do.

"You're right. Sorry." I laugh.

"So, I um, I should get going," Theo says, sliding out from under the duvet and I nod, "Alright, I'll talk to you--um--later." I wave awkwardly as he walks out the door. I let out a sigh as the door shuts behind him. That was awkward. Way too awkward. What was I thinking? Saying 'yes' to him? This is going to ruin everything. This will ruin Theo and I's entire friendship. I'll never be able to look at him the saw way. I kissed him. My lips were on his lips. His hands were on me. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. What is wrong with me?

I climb out of bed, quickly throw clothes on, and walk out of my room. I speed walk down the stairs and across the still-dirty, common room, and up the stairs to the boy's rooms. I reach Draco's door and knock panickly, "Draco Malfoy!" my heart is racing. Is this a panic attack? I haven't had a panic attack in years.

The door swings open but I'm met, again, with Theo. He looks down at me and laughs, "Is something wrong, Anna?"

I peek behind Theo at Draco laying in his bed, looking out the window with his jaw clenched. Theo must have told him. I didn't think he would be so mad he can't look at me.

"Um, no, I just need to talk to Draco for a second. Alone."

Theo laughs and shakes his head, "Anything you say to him can be said to me, right?"

What the fuck? Theo has never, and I mean never, not listened when I said I needed to be alone with Draco. He knows that Draco and I are closer, I tell him more and he does the same.

"He's right, Belle. Anything you say to me can be said in front of your boyfriend too." Draco finally looks at me and I don't know what to say.

"He's not my boyfriend. We're going to dinner and dinner only. Why are you so upset?"

"Because, you- it's going to mess things up. We're all supposed to be friends. Not two of us fucking each other while the other sits and watches."

"Draco, what the fuck? Theo and I are not fucking each other. For Merlin's sake, we're just going to dinner." I turn around and stomp my way back down the stairs and plop onto the couch in the common room.

What the fuck? Can I not do anything? I've given Draco too much power over me. Too much authority. I'm allowed to go to dinner with whoever I want, even if it is Theo. I really need to get a friend that's a girl. Fewer friends with dicks, fewer friends that act like dicks.