you were mine

twentythree - christopher fawn

It's been a month since Astoria visited. I broke the news about the painting to my father when he realized there was no more alcohol and I was serving him tea--which only took one day of soberness for him to figure out. Things aren't as good as they were when I first left Hogwarts. I've grown bored of the daily tasks and nothing ever changing. It's as if I'm stuck on replay daily. Astoria has written but I haven't gotten myself to the point of forgiveness to write her back. I haven't heard from Draco or Theodore. Theodore isn't surprising, but I thought Draco would have written by now. However, I haven't written him and it goes both ways. 

"I'm going to the town, dad, I'll be back in two hours. Do you need anything?" I say through the door of the library. He's asleep and I know I won't get an answer from him. We haven't really been on speaking terms since the Astoria incident. 

I close the library and let out a breath as I walk to the door and sling my bag onto my shoulder before walking out. 

I'm walking through a shop full of different plants when I hear a familiar voice, or a voice that seems familiar at least. I turn around, searching for the mouth that the voice comes from. He can't be here. No. I left Hogwarts because that's where he was, everywhere I looked he was there. He can't be here too. Marcus can't be everywhere. My heart is racing as I look down every aisle, knowing he is here somewhere. 

"Ma'am, are you alright?" someone lays their hand on my shoulder and I pull away, accidentally backing into a shelf of vines. I look at the person, confirming that they're not Marcus before nodding, "Y-yes, have you seen a boy in here? A little taller than me, dark hair, absolutely hideous?" it feels as if my lungs have holes in them. 

"No, ma'am, but I can't remember everyone that comes in here." 

"No, I mean right now? Just a second ago, I heard him talking." I look behind me and then back at the clerk. 

"Are you alright? Should I call someone?" 

"No! Just answer the question!" 

"Do I need to call the police?" 

"Fuck!" I drop the things in my hands and walk out. I'm sure he was in there. Maybe he's following me right now. I know I heard him. It had to be him. Nobody else in the world could have such a disgusting voice. 

I race my way back home, my heart skipping beats and my breath getting harsher. Will it always be like this? Running in fear of someone who isn't even there? 

I slam the door behind me and drop my bag onto the ground. I take a gasp of familiar air before walking up the fifteen steps to my room and burying myself into the covers of my bed.

<><><><><><>

Draco

"Come on, Malfoy. You have detention again today." Snape informs me, grabbing my arm as I try to walk away from him. 

"I don't understand why I got detention. He's the one messing with her." I seethe out as I rip my arm away from his hand. 

"He no longer attends this school, Malfoy. You do. We have to discipline for violence. It's only two more Saturdays." 

Marcus came to the school last Monday asking where Belle was. When I told him to fuck off he said 'fine, I'll just find her myself'. This should explain why I'm stuck with Snape for the next three Saturdays, including today for violence.

I don't mind though, other than the fact that Belle was promised that Marcus was put away and he obviously was not. Sending him away from Hogwarts isn't enough. He's sadistic and he's looking for Belle. So I had to do something. 

"I have no assignment for you. Read a book or something, Malfoy, but you're in here until lunch." Snape locks the door on the way out. He seems to understand what I did, but because of school rules he has to punish me somehow so, it looks like the next three Saturdays will be easy. 

I sigh as I pull the envelope I received earlier out of my pocket, 'Christopher Fawn' is printed as the return address which is the only reason I've waited to open it. He has never written me before, so for him to write me now means either Belle is dead or soon to be. 

'Draco, 

        I know this letter probably has worried you, seeing as I've never written before. However, this letter is needed, since you are the only one my daughter truly looks up to. It pains me to admit it, but you have been a better companion to her than her own father ever could be. That's not the reason for this letter though. Today I finally realized how bad my daughter, Annabelle, has gotten. Not in a rebellious way, mentally she is not okay, and not in a crazy way. Ignore how choppy my sentences are, I tried sobering up before writing this but these days that seems hard. A month ago Annabelle's friend, Astoria, came to visit. They both drank the rest of the alcohol in the house and Astoria wrecked my late wife's last painting she was working on. She also spilled paint in the room we have kept locked off for years. Annabelle didn't leave her room for hours until I realized there was no more alcohol and she cried to me. For the first time in years, she broke down in front of me, begging me for help. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I felt too sober to help her and I left her on the floor to go buy more drinks for myself. Still, Annabelle has not entered the room but I do notice that my drinks are going faster, and not due to my own alcoholism. This morning Annabell left for town, happy, and came back in a panic. She doesn't know I noticed, she doesn't even know I was awake, but I heard her gasping and crying. I don't know what happened, but I know she is scared. Whether it be because of Voldemort or another unknown reason, I don't like Annabelle to be scared. I can not help her, I am too far from helping myself. Draco, I know that something has happened to separate you and Anna, but she needs you. In some way, find it in your heart to contact her. To get her back to Hogwarts, she's not safe here, basically alone. I'm scared that I'll lose my daughter soon and I won't even notice until my cup is empty and she hasn't refilled it. I know I have a problem, Draco, and I understand if you throw this letter and never think of it again, but please consider my Annabelle and how much she has loved you over the years. Show her that same love. She deserves it from someone. 

                                    Sincerely, 

                                                  Christopher Fawn.' 

I let out a breath as I lay the letter in front of me. I have always loved Belle, and I have always tried to show her that. Other than recently I suppose. She needs me, but she hasn't written me so obviously she doesn't need me that much. She invited Astoria over but not me, she doesn't want me, but she's slowly killing herself. She's drinking again and she's scared, of Marcus or of Voldemort but either way, she should never have to be scared. I can't just show up though, can I? I haven't visited her since she left, it could be too much on her for me to just show up. Or maybe the letter is just another one of Mr. Fawn's drunken thoughts that make no sense. Astoria never told me about going to see Belle. 

My mind goes back and forth trying to decide what to do before deciding on just writing to Belle and seeing how she feels about me visiting. Because I do love her, she's my best friend, and her father's right, she deserves to be shown love.