Insanity

Chapter Seven

Today's Date: September 14, 2011

Dear Journal,

 Trevor and Amber have been really bugging out about me shooting the guy. They keep saying: "We were never supposed to kill someone. We was just using the guns as a threat to get the money and leave but now you fucked us all up. Vince, do you know what you just caused us? Accessory to murder, really?! You need to leave. YOU HAVE TO LEAVE NOW!" I did as they said, I left that piece of shit house. I started thinking as I was driving: "I know killing someone was a bad idea but was it supposed to give me an adrenaline rush? I mean the thrill was a little exciting, if you ask me!" I turned off the exit that was approaching to the right and pulled up to one of those cheap roach infested motels. I walk in and check in for a night. Hell, staying here and having roaches crawling on me is better than staying in my cramped up car. I open my door and throw myself on the bed: I look up at the ceiling for awhile wondering what my next move will be. Cops will be looking for me soon if the security camera caught my licenses plate number. I need to stop worrying about that shit and move on. I realized I had brought a little bit of Crystal with me when I left Trevor's place. Just enough to get me high where I can relax and be at ease for awhile. Bryan calls me and tells me that Louis isn't going to make it through the night because I caused some brain damage from punching and stomping on his head. He tells me that I need to turn myself in but he understood where I was coming from or so he says. He tells me that he has to go and that he would be checking in with me soon. I know Bryan is my best friend but he hasn't really been on my side with all this going on. I know he wants to be an upstanding citizen and obey the rules and regulations but he has to understand that we are two totally different people. How can I get him to understand? I noticed since I've been off my medication that I've been talking to myself again. It used to happen every now and then but now, it's been happening a lot more but I'm all alone so, I might as well get acquainted with myself. Crystal makes me a little paranoid; I keep looking out the curtain to make sure nobody is around. Why is she torturing me so much or am I to blame for all this torture that I am doing upon myself. Who the fuck knows? Maybe, a shower and some sleep will calm my nerves. I'll write soon...

Until Next Time, 

Vince.