You Make Me Feel

42. you make me feel

AGNES

I sleep in even though it's a school day, and my aunt doesn't mind me staying home.

Leaving the bed after several hours of stressing and overthinking, I rummage the fridge looking for something to eat. Out of boredom, I end up making tacos, mac and cheese, and would have whipped up some milkshakes, but we're out of strawberries. Not till after school hours before I hear a loud knock coming through the door.

Ugh. I don't wish to see anyone, but I just might need the company. From the sofa encircled by empty cans of Pringles, I slowly get up to open the door. Right there, Yvonne stares steadily at me, anger mixed homogenously with concern.

"Hey Yvonne."

"Don't hey me! Why didn't you come to school today?"

I let my misery play anonymously on my entire demeanour so she spares me her lecture. After a moment, she finally comes to understand the depressing feeling I'm having here.

"Are you feeling okay?"

Before answering that, I allow us some time to sit across on the sofa first. "Of course, why?"

She sighs. Distress oozes all over me, like as not she knew I'm only pretending to be fine. Before she says the next word, another knock comes.

We swivel our heads towards the door. I'm not sure I'm expecting anyone now – maybe Tessa, but Tessa wouldn't knock and still stay outside. Come to think of it, if she wanted to visit, she'd be with Yvonne.

"Who's there?" I call out.

The person deliberately refuses to respond, I'm sure on that. Nevertheless, I bear the liberty to answer the door and my countenance worsens when I see that the person is Felix.

"Agnes, please, let me explain," he says as soon as he sees me.

Yvonne rushes to the door and sees him too. It doesn't take her any effort to drag me back and face him herself. "You've got the nerve to show your filthy face here after what you did."

"Yvonne, I've got to talk to Agnes. She needs to hear me out."

"Get lost!" Yvonne scolds viciously, "and don't you ever show your face here again." She slams the door to his face and pulls me back with her.

That was kind of harsh, no lie – but he deserves it and worse. I don't think I'm ready to hear any of the lies and excuses he has prepared before coming to my house.

"He's never going to bother you from now on."

I do not even realize when my eyes start to tear up, crying like a baby all over again.

"You can't stop coming to class because of one guy! In fact, you need to be in school and show them that you're unaffected by this nonsense, especially that scummy snake. Make them see that they were wrong about you."

"How?" I sniffle, "how is that possible when we both know she's right?"

"She's not!"

I look away, avoiding her eyes. She's bearing so much watching me cry like this, but I can't stop myself from feeling this way. It's pissing me off, too. I look so pathetic crying over a boy. "I can't go back to school yet. I will just be reminded of everything."

She narrows her eyes at me while I fall back on the sofa and hold a pillow to resume sulking.

"Don't tell me you intend to be a depressed girl at home, hoping to get over a betrayal from the person you used to hate while everyone is busy studying for the exams?"

"You make me sound like a hopeless case."

"Seriously, you're starting to act like one. Don't put your education at stake because of an idiot you mistook for a friend."