Knockin' on Heaven's Door (Axl Rose)

9: Bad Trip

I wasn't prepared to take Axl's advice, despite the fact that I knew he was right. I hadn't spoke to God in six days, but I've been thinking about that evening every moment since it had happened. Was I really slipping up so quickly? Was I really going to Hell for everything I'd done. I'd figured that I'd be taken off the mission the minute after I'd told Axl everything, but nothing happened. The fact that nothing bad or dramatic happened almost made me want to see how far I could take it. It was so bizarre, but I knew that it was also wrong. I wasn't about to go through with it.

Axl, on the other hand, seemed almost worse because of what I'd told him. Despite the fact that I'd made it clear I believed in God, (I'd actually SEEN Him after all), the singer seemed to want to make it his goal to convince me that there were no consequences in the real world. I'm waiting for him to end up in jail. His drinking was out of control, he was getting high on cocaine all of the time, and he slept with about three different women every day.

I'd scolded his, for lack of a better word, sluttiness, and he brushed my concerns aside. After all, he was living in a world where indulgence was paradise. At this point, I wouldn't use this to get through to him. I almost wanted to know what all of these women were after myself. It went against everything that I stood for, but Axl and I had gone on one date. It's somewhat justifiable, right?

"Oh, what am I doing wrong?" I said aloud, putting my head in my hands. I felt a warm hand on my back.

"It's alright," He said, running his hand up and down my back. I lifted my head and looked at Izzy. "What's buggin' you?"

"Axl's not very cooperative," I replied honestly. "He's a wild child."

"Are you jealous?" The dark-haired guitarist raised an eyebrow. I shook my head quickly, and he chucked in response, putting his hands into the pockets of his dark-blue jeans. "You shouldn't waist your time worrying about him. Just do whatever you really wanna do."

"But that's just the problem," I complained. "You guys keep telling me that it's okay to be bad, but I don't even know where to start."

Izzy smirked. "Do you want me to teach you some things?"

"Like what?" I raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"Have you ever been intoxicated?" I gave him a confused look. Did he really think that the answer to that would be affirmative? "I'm taking that as a no. You should come and chill out with Slash and I later."

"What'll you be doing?" The question was nervous, I was nervous. I was about to do exactly what I was told not to do. Don't let Slash show you something you'll like. This is an invitation to my doom.

"I'm not sure yet. I'll make sure that you don't get too fucked up, though. I promise."

"Won't you be..." I tried to think of a clean way of saying this. "Won't you be high too? How could you keep an eye on me?"

"I won't be doing too many things tonight. Don't really wanna lose my mind." He put a finger to his temple, smiling lightly. "Don't worry though, you'll be fine."

Figuring that somehow I could get hurt if I was wearing anything revealing, I'd borrowed one of Slash's tee-shirts and threw on a pair of Axl's jeans. I'd wash and return both shortly, sure to spray Axl's with the magic spray Izzy had let me borrow before. I walked out of my bedroom, finding Izzy waiting for me. "Are you ready to go?" He asked, pulling up his pants. I nodded slowly.

He took my hand and led me out of the apartment. We were walking down the street, the night air a little bit chilly. "Where are we going?" I asked, holding my arms close to my body to keep warm. I rubbed my hands up and down my sleeves, hoping the friction would help.

"Motel," Izzy answered, tone bored. "You're too tense. Just relax." He stopped walking. "Are you still worrying about it being sinful or..? What's giving you cold feet?"

"I-I don't know," I stuttered. "I can't tell myself. I'm just so confused, this world doesn't make any sense to me."

"Stop being nervous."

"What are the hots?" I asked, echoing a question I'd thought once before.

Izzy rubbed the back of his neck while he thought. "It's this feeling when you get nervous around a certain person, or when you can't stop thinking about touching them. It's kinda like a feeling of half-love." He touched my shoulder. "Do you have your eyes on someone?"

Immediately, I thought of Axl. "Maybe," I answered, shaking my head.

"That's alright, Lucy. That's alright." He stopped walking when we were in front of the door to what looked like a very small apartment. He knocked on the door in a pattern, and it was opened. A woman with messy hair and crazy-looking eyes opened it. She made a gesture welcoming us inside, motions almost as though she had no control over her own limbs. Izzy grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. There was smoke everywhere, a thin layer covered the floor. The room smelled of something horrible, but I'd never smelled it before.

I felt like I was going to lose Izzy, so I walked a little closer to him. As long as I was with someone I knew, I would be okay. Someone stopped me from walking, holding my arm. He had a blue pill in his hand. "Try this," he said, pushing it towards me. I took it in my hand, considering the offer for a second.

"Alright," I sighed, putting it in my mouth and swallowing hard. The man let go of my arm once again, and I stumbled over bodies to find Izzy. Why is there a duck in here? A duck flew around, quacking in my ear. The duck ate a butterfly and disappeared. Izzy grabbed my arms, looking at me.

"What happened to you? What did you take?" He demanded. Why is he so upset? He was the one who took me here. A mosquito flew near my ear. I shot fire out of my ear, burning the horrid creature. I giggled, the feeling tickled.

"What's that?" I asked him, gesturing to the needle in his hand.

"Not for you, crazy bitch. You're saying things about stuff that's not here." His face distorted while he spoke, and somehow he was underwater. Well, we all were. I need to come up for air, right? I blinked, somehow hoping that would get the water away.

I felt someone start to tie something around my arm. They asked me if I wanted it, and I nodded, not knowing what I was agreeing to. Izzy tried to stop the person, but I felt a sharp pain in my inner elbow as a needle was pushed into me.

That's when my wacky trip went really, really bad. The lights in the room all went out, and everyone was a ghost, carrying shackles out the front door. The front door opened to reveal a light, a light that was glowing red and yellow, the flames of Hell. I touched the top of my head, feeling devil horns. "Izzy!" I called, needing to wake up from this nightmare. "Izzy!"

"Lucy, I'm right here." A light illuminated a demon with Izzy's face. "I'm right here," really repeated.

"Izzy, take me home. I'm losing my mind and I need to go to bed. I think I have the hots for Axl." The last part slipped out, but what difference does it make? This demon isn't going to take me anywhere but down.