Forgotten Night

Flashback #9

14 June 2015, 11:30 am

Depressed. It's been a month since I entered conscription. At first, I was kind of looking forward to this, honestly. I did not want to be sad over it like every other guy. I mean, it's something we were supposed to do anyway. Then why be sad over it? But it's been a month and my training period was over now. And the feelings of loneness and irritation had started to seep in slowly.

I was a guy who used to sleep in silk beds and now I am sleeping on a hard floor. All my awesome hair was cut short. And the most irritating of all, everyone keeps staring at me. It's like each of my actions is being monitored. Thankfully I had decided to do really well and so was good at all the physical stuff. But I did not have any friends here. I mean there were a few guys I was close with and they called me 'Hyung' or 'WooHyun shi' and talked normally with me and all. But it's still just been a month and they were like apprehensive to be closer to a celebrity, I guess. And some weirdoes wanted to be my friends just because I was famous. I did kind of feel like I was put inside a zoo.

So I was kind of feeling all down.

But as the first weekend after training approached, everyone was eagerly anticipating visitors. Those guys who had girlfriends were bragging about how their girls will be coming to visit them. And those people's bragging further depressed guys with no girlfriends. That included me. All I could feel when some guy got up and left to see his girlfriend was envy. I don't even have a girlfriend to come to visit. Along with me, all the single guys were looking at those guys with envy.

"Kim Woo Hyun." My name was called all of a sudden. I looked up. "You have a visitor." The army officer said to me. And my face brightened up. I jumped up and almost ran to the visiting area. I knew who it would be. Because there was no one else to come see me than her. And true enough, YuBin was waiting for me at the waiting area. It was like some light was placed in the darkness in me. She waved at me. I could not help it. I ran to her and hugged her. Tight... She was startled for a second. But I held on. I had missed her.

"Hey, people can see." She said to me.

I let go of her. People will just think of us as 'Hyun-Bin' siblings anyway. Nobody cares.

"Do you know what state I am in?" I asked her. "I don't want to be here. Do you know we have to wake up at 5 am here? 5 am!!! And then run around for an hour. And do who a lot of training. And sleep on the hard floor. And everyone is staring at me."

She smiled empathizing with me. "But we can't do anything about it. It's something you have to bear through if you are born as a male in South Korea." She said. "So be strong and bear with it."

"Cruel," I said. "Can't you please console me or something? I don't want to be here. Take me home with you..." I stepped closer to her with a crying face. She could not help give a short laugh. "Are you a child?" She asked. "You had got so mature lately. But it seems like you have got back to be a child in here. Total baby." She teased me.

"I don't care. I just want to continue being a baby. If I were a baby I would not have had to come here," I said. "So...mummy," I pouted, "Take me home."