The Black Widow

What To Do With Her

This whole chapter is my interpretation of what happened next

Ivan's Pov
I still hold the child. I won't let anyone else take her from me. I don't trust them to give her back. Her family was my responsibility and I let them die. I fight tears as I silently promise her that I will spend every waking moment trying to make this up for her. I will protect her now, be there for her whenever and wherever she needs me.

She is so small, so helpless. She needs me now that her family is gone. She is asleep now and so peaceful. She cried for so long. It was heartbreaking. 

She is still wrapped in the same white blanket. It didn't even get singed. 

"What do you propose we do with her?"

I am pulled out of my little fantasy and back into reality, back into the large office space that by the looks of it belongs to someone important. I don't know the man who stands behind the oak desk staring intensely at the child in my arms. He carries himself like someone important though, he definitely thinks he matters but whose to say if he really does. Mid-fifties I would guess. Dark brown eyes and a dark receding hairline. Well-fed, borderline fat but with a little more exercise good as new. This means he is a government man or something along those lines. A soldier would not allow himself to fall into such disrepair.  I would win in a fight if he threatened little Natalia not that it would ever come to that. I'm foolish for even thinking it.

"No family of any kind," he mumbles and shakes his head, "Too early to start the program. Useless. What a waste. Completely utterly useless." 

I do not appreciate the way he talks about the child as if all of this were her fault. She did not choose this life. It is time for me to intervene on her behalf, to speak up for her when she cannot, "I thought-" 

"I don't care what you think," he snarls, "I did not ask for your opinion. We need to decide the next logical step. It is useless to me unless everything is done perfectly and at the precise time."

 It. He called her it. I want to tear his head from his body. I want to Shoot him in the face just like I did to the other man. I can already imagine the perfect little hole in the middle of his forehead gushing with red. 

What a stupid thought. I push my anger down. I bring the calm to the surface. Right now I need the calm. I have nothing to gain by an outburst now and everything to lose. If he is to accept my proposal I must demonstrate that I am worthy.

"I will do it," I say quickly but with a hard determination.

He raises an eyebrow, " You will what?"

"I'll take care of her, raise her until she is old enough for the program, " I sigh and continue, "I was assigned to protect this family and I intend to continue that work."

"Even though you failed miserably the last time."

"The child survived. I saved her. The rest of the family didn't matter." The words taste like dirt as they leave my mouth. My words are a betrayal of her family because they did matter and I let them down. But I will say whatever I must to continue protecting their daughter. 

He thinks about my proposition for what seems to be a long time. The longer he takes the more nervous I feel. I hold the child closer to me. Will I fight him if he wants to take her away? I am a soldier. I am supposed to follow orders but I couldn't follow any order that might get her taken away. I am loyal to my country of course and always will be but I am also loyal to her.

"Very well, " He says after the longest minute of my entire life. My heart practically leaps out of my chest, "but we will be giving you very specific instructions."

I nod.

"Someone will escort you to secure living quarters," he sighs,"You are dismissed."

"Yes, sir!" I salute as best I can while holding Natalia and turn to leave the room.

"And Petrovich."

"Sir?"

"Don't get too attached. We don't know if it will work. We don't know if there will be anything left to love," Another loud breath and a shake of the head, "You are a very good soldier. It would be a shame if anything should happen to you."

What does that mean? I know the basics of the plan. It's a training program, to train soldiers to fight for the homeland. I get the feeling there is something more to it all. The man outside the hospital certainly seemed to think so and now this cryptic warning. I nod and leave before he can change his mind.

"Come on Natalia lets go home," I whisper to her. It doesn't bother me in the slightest that I have no idea where that will be.

Home is a small apartment, inconspicuous. You would never know it was a government safe house.  We will be relocated often but for now, this is where we will live. 

The instructions about her care are very specific. I am given orders from the moment I step through the door. What and when to feed her. When she should sleep and play. Even what books I can read her. I have been told to speak to her in Russian and English, the only two languages I know. Every day they have others come in to speak to her in other languages so she will become fluent in them or at least have a basic understanding. 

It seems like a bit much but what do I know. I am just a soldier.

I prefer it when it is just us. Me and her. That way I can pretend it will be that way for forever. Just us with no worries about the kind of things the future will bring. Because I am worried about the future. I have a very bad feeling about all the years ahead.