Reflections on a Two Way Mirror

Chapter 14

                                                                                (Lynn's POV) 

   Yesterday was a whirlwind. I cannot believe that I finally moved to New York. It was a hard decision but I feel like it was the right one to make. Taylor has been going back and forth between being at the apartment and the studio. She says it is a few busy weeks at work plus her working on her own album makes it harder. She is wonderful and she has been trying to help me adjust to the move as well as possible. She has been so wonderful with everything going on. I have been busy trying to take my mind off of things while she is at the studio. I am missing home a lot and my friends but they get why I moved. They understand that the reason I am doing this is for myself. I want to be happy and I also want to give Taylor and I a fair chance which isn't possible if I'm in a different state. Plus New York doesn't seem like that bad of a place to live. I like it so far. 

  I haven't started looking for apartments yet because I am scared of whether or not Taylor and I will last. Taylor is someone I always wanted to be with but the timing was never right. We didn't ever get a real chance until now. When we were in high school, Taylor wasn't ready to be out which I understood at the time. I still get why she doesn't want to be out to the fans. I get it because for a long time I didn't want to be out to the fans as well but I am very open about who I am through the music. Music has helped a lot through that situation. Making music that is about who I am helps others through whatever they are going through themselves. I got lucky. Taylor is starting to open up to more people about who she is and I am proud of her for that. 

  I want her to be my girlfriend so while she is at the studio I set up something for tonight. We have been talking and dating for a while now. I know that we both wanted to wait until we were both moved to New York before asking each other to be official. I haven't been seeing anyone else and I want to see or be with anyone else. I don't know where her head is at though which scares me. I got lucky to have her back in my life and I don't want to mess things up between us. We both made mistakes the first time around. I can't fuck that up again. Taylor is an amazing woman who I am more than grateful to have someone like her as my friend and maybe soon my girlfriend. I can't mess up tonight so I decide to make dinner while she leaves to come home for the night. I hope she is feeling the same that I am otherwise this could be a horrible night. 

  When she texts me to tell me that she is on the way home, I start making our dinner for the night. It is something that I am excited for but also nervous. I have no clue what is going to happen which is normal but I don't like the feeling that it is causing me. I go into the kitchen and pull out the stuff that I need for food. I can feel myself starting to shake more as it gets closer to time to see her again. There is a lot that I fucked up on but this can't be one of those things. Even if she doesn't say yes to being my girlfriend, we'll still date and be where we need to be as a couple. My feelings for her are stronger than I could have ever imagined but it happened. I've fallen in love with her all over again, though I think I never stopped truly loving her. 

  I turn on music in the background to help me focus on what I am cooking. I am glad that I am able to do things for her like this. I didn't used to be a good cook but one of my exes made me learn, so I did and now people like my cooking. It is important for Taylor and I to build our connection. To say that my love grows for her every day is an understatement. I know that things won't always be easy but we will make it work despite the hard times. 

  Someone opens the door. A couple seconds later, Tay's voice calls out for me. "Lynn, are you home?" She asks as she walks towards the kitchen.