Dear us,

Drained?!

Feeling drained.....
Well that's new, isn't it?!

It has become those days newest trend, like yes everyone is so messed up and everyone is in pain. Yeah, this might sounds a little bet judgmental but no it is not.

Yes, life is hard and some times it becomes really unbearable that we're feeling like we're being suffocated , not only that we take it out on each other. We project our sadness and heart breaks on other people and not random ones but the ones that means most to us like if they were born to carry our burdens.

Little we know that they are human just like us We ignored the fact that they have their struggles and obstacles that they try to get through, and the fact that they have feelings.

Maybe our mean was well and maybe we seek comfort from them but we forgot that they are not our emotional shield they are not immune against negativity. they're vulnerable the same way we are

Why can't we focus on the reasons why we're projecting our feelings? And why can't we think how would they feel if we take everything out on them?! And why did we get mad when they walk away because they got hurt by our behavior?

We seek comfort in other people because we didn't find it in ourselves, we haven't been our own home, haven't been our own shields, Way deep inside we didn't find our shelter so how dare we expect finding home in someone else?

How ignorance were we?

We let the days pass on us like if we were zombies or walking machine just spinning in the cycle of life, just kept ignoring our emotions and push it to the back of our head so that it becomes a great monster. One of our own doing. A horrible one because it was just so broken.

Though All this monster was seeking is a particular feelings "belonging"
It wanted to feel appreciated, wanted to be loved, wanted to feel accepted, all it ever wanted was to feel home.
Yet it didn't find those feelings because we didn't felt that our monster was worthy of it, and that's why it didn't sparkle in on our minds to build one.

The little monsters we've created kept searching for this belonging in others and once they found out someone is actually caring or have feelings for them, they think that we're finally there and that is that ...
those people will be the one i will relay on, take feelings from and projecting my anger on, and so that's the beginning of losing them because not only we are burdening them with our battles we are draining them out .

So all we do is messing everything up by starting to absorb those people emotion and so foolishly we lose them  by reflecting our anger, hate and sadness on them thinking they would understand what are we going through..

but they don't , not because they are bad and not because they are evil but because they got hurt too.
We made  them feel unimportant, felt like if it was their mistake, felt hated and finally felt our selfishness, and yes you read it write.
We've been selfish!!
enough not to be concerned about their feelings and ignore the fact we hurt them because of other people's doing.
Did they meant that little to you?

We're our own home. There's a nice sentence that I really love and strongly believe in says
"If loving someone is beautiful , how come loving ourselves is anything less than beautiful"
Maybe if we see ourselves for what we really are and know the value of ourselves, we will start feeling home ,find that belonging we were desperately asking for and maybe those ugly monsters will be replaced with another beautiful creatures. A one that's unique to every person.

By then we will have that powerful self esteem that boosts our inner power and makes us inevitable ,when we really start to understand ourselves and appreciate it the way we actually deserve , we will understand others and we will stop being like parasite sucking emotions out of others.
Eventually we will stop seeking from them what we desperately wanted from ourselves