Dear us,

Ball of sunshine

All this thought and feeling you tried so hard to cover and pushed away so hard just kept coming back to the surface.
You kept thinking maybe I didn't push hard enough maybe just maybe if i acted differently maybe if I was that lovely ball sunshine, it would get better.
But it doesn't, it hurt more it cracked your soul, left a bigger scare that sculpted you into an empty person.
that horrible feeling of loneliness haunted you every where.
That may sound very pessimistic. To be fare there were that time when you were happy for real not because of the mask.
However, it just so hard to endure all this feeling anymore.
Am I right, were I right.
Dear self what am I suppose to do? Just give me a sign ....a beam of light that guides me to the right path.
You never wanted to be this dark what's wrong with you? What's happening?

Gather your self together and stop being that poor excuse of a person.
You know you haven't been your best self lately and you know how you hate to see yourself like this...
So, Dear self what do you want me to do?!!!!! Should you be this little ball of sunshine should you put back this fake mask !!! Should you be this happy princesses or prince
All those bad feelings and thoughts you pushed away, kept coming back ,shouting on you refusing to go away and on the end you ended up being hurt .....
You hided behind this fake mask of happiness thinking it will protect you while in fact it morphed you into a different person one you didn't recognize.
All what they ever wanted was your acceptance but you choose to neglect them as if they didn't ever exist!!!
So dear ball of sunshine,
You can do this you can pass through this ,get yourself together, accept yourself, accept your feelings and hear them out you know better than anyone negligence isn't the solution, let those feelings spend their time, Then walk them to the door,so that you will be able to accept happiness, love and be that happy ball of sunshine you were always distend to be.....