Chapter 22

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*spoiler warning for series 3*

Pat had joined Kitty to perform their dance routine, relieving the Captain of his duties. Robin had got hold of the flask and was sniffing at it tentatively, while Mary was trying to persuade him not to imbibe.

"So, what are you chaps talking about?" the Captain asked.

"Well, I was just telling Humphrey about my first office threesome," Julian replied.

"And I've been trying to tune him out. Have you seen a body anywhere?"

"Afraid not. Has anyone seen Lila about?" said the Captain.

"Not in a while, actually. I think she went..." Humphrey fell silent, his eyebrows raising slightly and his eyes widening for a split second. He bit his tongue and a very serious look seized control of his face.

"Are you quite alright?" questioned the Captain.

"Me? Yeah, fine, fine." Humphrey's voice wavered a bit.

"Are you sure?" laughed Julian, knowingly. "Is something up?"

"No, nothing's up," he responded, his voice getting higher and his eyes widening again towards the end of the sentence.

"I wonder where Fanny's got to?" Julian said, grinning foolishly. The Captain grimaced.

"Julian! Take drink, it awful, I prefer river water,"

"I tolds you! Tis the drink of the devil!"

Thomas felt electrified. Having finally shared his feelings with Lila, he was elated that she felt a similar attraction to him. She was currently sat, straddling his lap, whispering into his ear; "You make me so happy." She kissed him passionately. She had been wanting to kiss him for what felt like a lifetime.

Thomas smiled, adjusting his arms around Lila's waist, "I must be the luckiest creature the world has ever known." He began kissing her neck.

Lila heard the Captain clearing his throat. He was looking away from the pair out of a mixture of respect and embarrassment. "Oh shit, Thomas. I think we should have found somewhere with a bit more privacy," Lila whispered, moving to sit next to him.

Thomas laughed softly, "What do we do?"

"I'll go and talk to him," she looked down at Thomas. "You need to compose yourself before you do anything else." She kissed him gently. "Seriously though, Julian sees you like that we'll never hear the end of it. Maybe take a walk around the gardens?"

"Listen, Cap, you didn't see anything okay? I know how everyone gets; I don't want to deal with them talking about us just yet."

"My lips are sealed. I only came down to ask you about the cigarettes." He chuckled.

"Oh my god, are you drunk? I don't think I've ever seen you laugh before."

"Maybe a little tipsy."

Lila slipped two cigarettes and the lighter out of her pocket, "I haven't tried these yet, I don't know if they will work. Nothing makes much sense; I still don't really understand being a ghost." She lit the Captain's cigarette first, and he took a drag; it worked!

"So, when did this whole thing start with Thomas?"

"Well, we had a bit of a moment on the first night that I could see you guys, and I've had a bit of a thing for him since then, but we hadn't actually kissed before tonight."

"I'd be careful if I were you. He has claimed to have been in love with many women, including Alison, the previous owner. I just worry that he might fall in love with the next woman to walk through these grounds."

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