Quotes

Funny

1. The dentist told me that I need a crown, I was like I KNOW RIGHT!!?!

2. That fail moment, when you pull your blankets up and you punch your self in the face.

3. I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile......then walk into a pole.

4. I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me, The tables and chairs are bullies, & the wall gets in the way.

5. It's funny how when I'm loud people tell me to be quiet, but when I'm quiet people ask what's wrong with me.

7. A jealous women does better research than the FBI does.

8. When people put you down or or talk behind your back, just remember that they took time out of their pathetic lives to think about you.

9. I hate it when someone is at your house and they ask" do you have a bathroom" ?? Like " NO we $h!t in the sink!!"

10. The problem is not the problem . The problem is your is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?

11. Did you just fall??

No I attacked the floor?!!

Backwards?

I'm freaking talented!!

12. Sorry I can't today!!

My sisters friends mothers grandpas brothers grandsons uncles fish died, and yes it was tragic.

13. I meant to behave but there were to many other options.

14. Respect your parents.....the passed school without google.

15. Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else, because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate.

16. I'd women could read minds, every second a man will get slapped.

17. At night I can't sleep, and in the morning a can't wake up.

18. I had a dream about you.

Aweee really???

Yeah you died.......

19. I was born intelligent, but then education ruined me.

20. Last year for Christmas, I asked Santa for the sexiest person.......I woke the next morning in a box.

21. Don't break anybody heart they only have one. Break their bones instead they have 206.

22. Dear girls, if a guy pauses his game to call or text you, he is the one.