Scotch and Soda (A.T.)

31| Her tears like diamonds on the floor

Two weeks later

Andromeda

'So does Alex bore you?' The red head woman in her mid-thirties asked as I sat on a tan sofa across from her looking down at my knotted hands.

'No, he doesn't bore me. Anything but...but I do feel like I'm holding him back. He could have any other girl. I feel like he doesn't deserve a traumatised girl like me. I don't even think I could give him what he needs anymore.'

'Why do you think that?' The woman wrote down my thoughts and feelings as I spoke.

'I'm just sad all the time and it's not that I'm bored of Alex, it's just I-I'm not interested in anything anymore. It has nothing to do with Alex. I love him with all my heart and he needs someone who's not broken, who will make him happy more than I can. We barely have sex anymore and when we do, I get this burning feeling in my thighs that turns into pain and I feel like a virgin again. I was screaming two nights ago and Alex stopped. He was near on the brink of crying because he thought he'd hurt me.' I too, was now on the brink of crying remembering such a sad moment. It took me half of the night to calm him and convince him that it wasn't his fault. I'm so scared Martin is going to come back and hurt me and Alex.

'Martin had feelings for me and I never knew until he kissed me. It never felt right because I didn't love Martin. I loved Luke and I felt betrayed and hurt that he had an affair with some other woman. I'm afraid that Alex will get frustrated and dump me for another woman. That's why I feel like I should let him go because I'm holding him back.'

'Because you're having less sex?' She sounded like she was very doubtful. I wasn't completely sure that Alex would leave me for another but cheat on me with another.

'Yes and no. I just. Alex loves me but is sexually frustrated so he turns to another. I wouldn't want to face the pain of that. Of being reminded of the betrayal of Luke.'

'From what I hear about Alex and what he's done, it seems like he loves you very much and wouldn't do this. Especially if you have trust in Alex. If you and Alex talk this out, you need to tell him how you feel. Now can we see results next week?' I just nodded my head.

'Same time Monday?' I nodded my head again and made my way to the lobby where Alex was waiting. He smiled as soon as he saw me and stood up. I smiled weakly and walked with Alex out the door and into the car.

'So how was your appointment, love?' I contemplated whether or not to tell Alex how I feel.

Alex

I seemed to be always worried about Andromeda. She never talked to me that much and moped around a lot. She even placed a post on her blog to put it on hiatus. She and I hadn't even had sex recently. I loved her so much that I knew I wouldn't cheat on 'er like Luke did, but did she know that? An Innocent Man by Billy Joel came on the radio and I smirked at the irony of the situation.

'I think we need to talk.' She stated it softly. She was no longer the mischievous, barely broken girl that I'd first met. Ever since the revelation of the true person who made her scars, the media got wind of it as well and created quite a fuss negatively and somewhat positively upon her. I can tell when we're out together the way some people pity us and some women wonder why I'm even with her. I've tried so hard to sue the tabloids for slander. For saying things that aren't even true about her. Even going as far as relating her to Luke, saying that the bloke turned her into a schizophrenic when in fact she was just traumatised and depressed.

Sometimes she even has nightmares and they almost give her slight fevers. She breaks a sweat and sometimes she's scared to go back to sleep. I cuddle her and sing her back to sleep and when she wakes up in the morning, I give her, her medication. She tells me to go and practise with the band and take up the offer to record this song with this other group Mini Mansions, but I can't leave her by herself.