Scotch and Soda (A.T.)

14 | How can I tell you I was wrong?

—Mature content—

Andromeda

            'Let me out Atticus, please!' I said against what I hoped was the door. I can't tell anymore. Everything hurts... I can't believe this is happening...its blackness...pure blackness. I want Alex, I need him. Tears, once again, grace my face. Everything is your fault... Every time I moved, I winced in pain. I started to cry, 'Please Atticus, let me go.'

48 hours earlier

            'Alex, are you ready to go?' I was waiting down stairs waiting for him to pack. Our argument from earlier still lingered a bit in my voice making it sound annoyed. I was a little bit, but only because I think we're going to be late to our flight. 'Alex?' I called again but received no response. I let go of my bag and began to walk upstairs. Fear began to grip my heart and remind me of my nightmares. I walked into Alex's bedroom and saw his packed luggage. I turned to see his closet closed which was weird because he never had it closed. When I opened it-

            'Boo!' Alex jumped out and scared me. I jumped back and fell to my knees. I couldn't help but start to cry.

            'Jesus, Alex!' I cried and I couldn't help it. I thought Atticus was here...

            'What's wrong, Andy?' He soothed.

            I didn't answer, I was too busy absorbed in my sobs.

            'Andromeda, look at me please.'

Alex

            She looked at me with pink rimmed eyes. I mean I was just joking and she busted out crying. What was it she said earlier? And I was like how could a rock star-who could get any girl he wants-want a broken one like me? She truly is broken, isn't she? I didn't know that she was broken. I never thought that she was, I just knew I wanted her the minute I saw her after we smacked temples.

            'Andy, could you please tell me why are you crying?'

            'I thought...I-I'

            I began to sit down beside her, 'Shh...calm down love and tell ol' Alex what the ma'er is.'

            'I thought Atticus was here. I thought he'd hurt you. My nightmares...it's all my fault and that being near me is only going to bring bad things to you Alex...because he won't stop until I'm his again.'

            Now that really pissed me off when she said the words I'm his. How could she say such a thing? 'No you're not Andy, you're mine...and you're going to stay that way because...' I can't believe I'm going to admit this... 'Because, I love you.' She looked at me in shock not saying anything.

            'I-I can't say it.' She said after a pregnant silence and looked down with uncertainty. What?

            'What?' I asked narrowing my eyes at her.

            'I can't reply to that because I barely know you Alex. I want you, I care about you, and you make me feel good, but I...can't say something that will make me feel like I lied to you. I like you very much and care enough to say that I can't say that I love you.'

            'So I am a joke to you.' I said coolly.

            'No!' she groaned frustrated and I dunno why. I should be the one that's frustrated. 'Alex, you're not a fucking joke to me! I care about you and maybe the more time we spend together, the more my feelings will change about you. But right now, I like you and I'm glad we're in a relationship. Please do not force this on me.'