My bully had to be Boun.

Chpater 9

Boun POV

"Do you want to talk to me?" Arthur asked 

"No" I  just said that while I parked the car in front of his house and stayed silent, Arthur obviously knew by now something is definitely up, but I don't know how to tell him, I don't know how to tell anyone that I found out that I am gay and I am madly in love with Prem who is not at all my type. For heaven's sake, I didn't even know that boys are my type. I don't know how to come out, I don't even know how to accept that my sexuality is not what I always thought it was. 

"Can we at least get in, how long are we going to stay in the car?" 

"I wanna see if he is okay" 

"If you knew you would feel so bad then why would you do that to him?" 

" I didn't know I would feel bad" 

" What's wrong with you Boun? Why are acting so weird? I've been noticing you for a while now... You don't talk as you used to, you don't do something stupid and get into trouble like you used to... You have become so silent and the only thing you do is constantly keep staring at Prem. " 

 I just looked shocked at him, does he know? Am I busted? Will he not accept me? Will all of my friends not accept me? Will my family? Will the world? Those fears are the reason why I constantly keep lying to myself that I hate Prem, but the truth is I love him, I love him so much that I can't stop dreaming about him, I can't stop thinking about him, now I've even started worrying about him. 

A second later we saw Prem parking his bike in the garage and walking through the door. I'm relieved that he is okay, but I cannot deny the feeling of guilt. I hurt him, do I deserve him? 

"Boun, you know that you can tell me anything right?" Arthur said as he noticed the way I looked at Prem just now. 

"I ... I " I stuttered

"Boun... I am gay" Arthur said, leaving me shocked, I try not to react too much, I know he probably thinks I like Prem and that's why he said that to make me feel better, but no one would do something like that.

"Okay..." I didn't know what I was expecting, but I just urged him to tell more silently. 

  

" I knew it since 8th grade, I had a crush on a cute boy back then, I think I still do, this is the first time I'm coming out to someone" 

I only kept looking at him. 

"I went through a lot of confusion, I was afraid of everything changing, everyone treating me different, but I am not anymore, I know that I am gay and I don't think that will change. If the world decides to shove me in a corner, I will be ready to rebel" 

I know exactly what he means, he exactly knows what I am going through, he is probably telling me this because he knows I am gay too, and above that I know he knows that I will fight with him in this battle against the world. 

"Do... Do I know that boy?" That's the first thing I asked.

"You do," he smiled. 

"Have you ever tried to make a move on him?" 

"Hell no" 

"Are you scared? " 

"I was, but I'm not anymore, but I'm not sure what I will risk losing if I make a move on him" 

"Does he mean a lot to you?"

"He means the world to me" 

"Does he at least know that you have feelings for him" 

" Sometimes, I think he does" 

" Then why won't you tell him that you have feelings for him" 

" It took me a lot of courage to come out to you Boun, we have been friends for a very long time, but I don't know how much more courage I would need to build up to tell him that I like him, I feel that he would make me go back in the closet and make me feel like never wanting to come out to the world and be open about myself, it feels so good I'm talking to you about this, I feel so relieved"

He had teary eyes, but I knew he wouldn't cry, we have been buddies for so long and I know Arthur, he is strong and manly, and just like me he has a lot of pride, that just won't let him cry in front of me, but he did look very happy. 

" I will never let you go back in the closet again," I said which made him give me a thankful smile. 

" I think I know what you are going through. But it's your thing, I just wanna let you know that I am here whenever you're ready, I learned one thing, only if you accept yourself the world will accept you" saying that he stepped out of the car and walked around the car to get to his house. 

"Arthur" I yelled through the car window, he turned around and I said " I am gay and I like Prem" 

He smiled, "I'm  happy for you" 

" I'm happy for you too" I returned that smile. 

" Will you tell that to him?" 

" I will but I think I will need more..." I said 

" Courage," both of us said together. 

" We will rebel against the world..." He said 

" Together," we said in unison and he walked to his house. 

I gave one last look in the direction of Prem's house, I smiled and then drove to my house.