My bully had to be Boun.

Chapter 21

Boun POV

What the hell have I done? I know I did it with his consent, I know he somehow meant that he was okay with doing it,  but... Shit he must be in so much pain, he literally passed out, why would I be so rough. I feel guilty now, he didn't ask me to stop though. Did he like it even a little bit? What if he starts hating me after this? 

The anxiety seeped into my system, I feel like I just got him but I'm gonna lose him soon, I wanna cry, but I wanna wake up Prem. I tapped his face twice and then I heard soft snores, even with all the negative emotions running through my head, I can't help but find his snores cute and smile. I let him sleep, by then I go shower and change, I wore something really comfortable and lay down beside him. His scent filled my room, which was so new to me but yet comforting, I lay beside him, my bed, my pillow, my sheets everything smelled like him. I hover my fingers above his face and trace it down till his neck. I am so in love, where did this human come from and how is he making me so crazy. 

 The fear was still present, I feel guilty, I just hope we can talk this out. I caress his face. His eyes flutter open and focus on my face, I try to push back every thought and just smile at his tired face. He looked at me, it looked like he was debating with himself, he looked down at his naked body which was covered with the duvet. He tried to move, but I had an itching feeling in my heart that he was hinting to take my hands off him. I really didn't know if he meant it that way but I retracted my hands from his face. 

"What happened?" He asked in a hoarse voice. 

"You passed out," I said, trying to act like I wasn't guilty. 

He tried moving but groaned in pain, fuck... I hate myself. "Are you okay? Are you in pain?" I asked out of concern 

"You think?" He snapped, all I could do was just look away. I'm such a jerk.

There was silence, he still laid there without clothes, and I don't know if I should help him, although I'm afraid that he will be more furious. I lay on my back and both of us just stared at the ceiling. Nothing but our sound of breathing was heard. 

"I... I ... I don't think I am gay" he said, which is breaking my heart, I still looked up, tears pricking my eyes.

"So, you don't wanna be with me?" I asked after I gulped down the lump in my throat.

"I... Boun... I like you but" 

"Are you gonna say, that we can't be together?" 

"No, it's just that, I like you, I think about you all the time and sometimes I even dream about you, lately I've noticed that I unconsciously start looking for you and seeking for your company, I know it's crazy, that I am attracted to you and even like you but, my experience of having sex... "

"Just tell it, Prem, don't be afraid that you will hurt my ego" 

" I'm sorry Boun, but, it was just too painful for me, I won't say it was horrible, I still like you and I want to be with you, be your boyfriend, but sex... I don't know about that, it's just... " 

" You don't have to say more" I don't know what to think now, should I be happy that he was okay with being my boyfriend, he just said he might not be gay but he still liked me? As much as I want to say that his experience of having sex with me wasn't enjoyable for him and that doesn't affect me, but it does, I know we shouldn't have rushed into doing this so soon, but desires are desires and I wanted to relieve it somehow. But I've made such a big mistake, by giving him pain and nothing else. But still, I want this to work between us, if he doesn't like being a bottom and yet likes to be with me, it's only fair if we try every option.

So I start "what if?" I struggle, but I will do anything for his happiness. "What if you be the top the next time we do it?"

A blush crept upon his cheeks and I'm no good either, I should be just as red as he is. We both lay there in awkwardness, then he finally said "i... I guess we can try that" more blushing and more awkwardness. "Umm, Boun, can you like go out for a minute, I have to clean up and get changed" 

"I waited here so that I can help you, I mean I saw you naked already, let me help you" 

He turned his face, he was so so so shy, I was too. But it only makes sense for me to help him, but he insisted on letting me not touch him from now on, more aching in my chest, and then, I stood up. 

" Boun" he called. 

I just looked at him, if he needed anything. 

" Can I get a hug, I mean we are boyfriends now, after all," saying that he spread his arms while still laying on the bed. I wanted to, but yeah, I sat down and leaned down on him, making my clothes and his unclothed upper bodies touch. I placed my ear on his chest and listened to his heartbeats. It was hypnotizing that I wanna stay this way for a long time. He stroked my bleached hair comfortingly and I decided to tease him to break the awkwardness between us.

"Boyfriends huh" 

Even though I can't see him, I already know his expression is filled with shyness and more shyness. 

I pecked his chest one time and looked at him, he was looking at me lovingly.

"You sure you don't want my help?" 

"Yeah"

"As you say," I said with a sulky expression and stood up and left the room. 

I don't know what I feel, happy? Sad? Angry? Guilty? I don't know, all I know right now is Prem is my boyfriend, we just had sex, he said he didn't enjoy it and I offered my ass to him the next time we do it. Huh... Wow talking about emotional roll-a-coaster. After just sitting in solitude for 5 minutes, I knew Prem was with me now, and that's what matters, I'm going to be the world's best boyfriend. 

And I am going to start now, I rush back to my room and knock, "I'm coming in" I said and I barged in before he could say anything, I saw him, he had barely managed to sit up. 

"Boun? What the hell?" He said with his eyes widened and covered himself with the duvet quickly. 

I scurried to his side "as much as you insist on not wanting me to help you, I am going to anyway because I can't let you struggle by yourself" 

He looked at me with sudden admiration and love. I wanted him to look at me like that often. I pick the duvet and wrap it around him like a shawarma roll. He looked like a cute giant cocoon. "Prem, what? Are you doing?" 

"You wanna clean up first right?" 

"Um, yeah" 

"I'll take you to the bathroom" 

Saying that I carried him bridal style and while he just looked at me in shock, I gently made him stand on the bathroom floor and his legs wobbled, I held him tight, made him sit on the closed toilet seat, I turned on the bath, I went out and bought some of my comfy clothes and towel for him and placed it on the counter beside the mirror.

By then the bath had been pretty much filled and I helped him stand up once again. I tried to look away when the duvet fell down and helped him step into the bathtub. 

"Is the temperature alright?" I ask 

"It's alright I guess" he was red as a tomato by now 

"I'll leave you to relax, call me when you're done... Hopefully, it helps the pain to lessen" I looked back at him as he lay in my bathtub like a wet puppy and said " Prem, I'm sorry" and then left without giving him time to think about asking me what I was sorry about.