My bully had to be Boun.

Chapter 15

Boun POV

I've not only been humiliated but have been made to question my existence. Why am I even alive? I can't do one thing right, I don't know how to be nice nor do I know how to get a guy to feel comfortable around me. It hurt like crazy when Prem told me that I was only trying to get close to him because of my other friends, why doesn't he understand that this whole trip was planned for him, for us to make progress, he is literally laughing and being happy and cheerful with everyone else except me. I am sure that I have spent more time with him during practice than any of them, if I consider the time they took care of Prem after the incident, well that yeah, but how could he be friendly with everyone except me. Am I not trying enough, am I not worth his attention, am I that much of an asshole, I was right, I don't deserve him. Screw Arthur, Ben, and Dylan, they were wrong to lead me to do this. I shouldn't have made a move on Prem, I shouldn't have developed more feelings for him, I should have just buried it deep within me and just moved on assuming that Prem was just a crush. When I think about it, that doesn't sound so bad, now that's exactly what I am going to do in order to not give myself more pain and not get humiliated further. I'm going to bury my feelings for Prem deep inside me and just gonna move on until I forget him, it's just a crush after all. Yes, just a crush. 

With a heavy feeling in my chest, I walk back to the site. I usually like going out camping like this, but I just don't like being here today, I mean, there are too many mosquitoes, I'm sure Sammy hates today just as much as I do. I reach the site and I see Sammy running around and playing without any care of mud getting in her nails or hair being messy. Okay... I'm sure Ben hates it, well he told me about his feelings for Arthur, but always thought it was like a brotherly/friendly feeling, and only after me coming out did he realized that there can be a thing like homosexuality and he can be close to Arthur like more than just a friend. That explains why Ben was stunned and did not behave properly for days and even why he freaked out and cried in my car just before leaving. 

I almost had a deja vu, because Arthur and Ben both came out to me in my car, though I know that Arthur is gay too and he may like Ben but I did not say anything because it was not my confession to make and all I could do was comfort him by saying how much I love Prem and it is okay for him to like Arthur without feeling guilty. Huh... How much I love Prem, fuck no... It's just a crush, I need to find Ben, he might probably accompany me during this fucked up times. That's when I saw Arthur dragging Ben by his wrist and calling everyone to gather around him. 

"Is everyone here?" Arthur asked, Ben's brown eyes were teary and he was a shade darker than his usual tanned skin, he was flustered, but he smiled. 

"What's this about?" Dylan asked 

"This is about... Me Arthur Seuss, finally being honest about me and my feelings for my ex-friend Ben Alejo" 

"Ex-friend? Is everything okay?" Sammy asked.

"Well to answer that Sammy, I don't think I've ever been better," Arthur said and looked at Ben who only smiled shyly and looked at the ground.

As cute as this scene looks, I cannot stand it when the short, muscular guy with curly brown hair named Ben is acting all shy in front of Arthur. 

"Guys, first of all, I want to thank Boun" that immediately caught my attention, I looked at him "thank you Boun, because without you I would probably still struggled to be open" 

I smiled half-heartedly but no one seemed to notice because everyone had other things to worry about other than my reaction at this moment. I'm happy for Arthur, for I know he is going to come out to the gang now, but what sucks is that I think I am going back in.

 "I want to thank Dylan for always being supportive and encouraging, and Sammy of course for showing how happy you can be when you finally break free and be with the person you love despite all the hate and drama you have to face" Dylan held Sammy's waist from behind and kissed her hair when Sammy smiled widely, I want that, I want to hold Prem like that, fuck no, he is just a crush