A (long) note for you

THE PRELUDE

Before you, there was another one. You know that other one, the story is no news to you. We met in first year of high school.
Being one or two years younger than the average student is not easy to live, specially in that transition period commonly called "puberty" or like I live to call it "Glow up time". I used to fear people so much that I developed so many antics, solely for the sake of preserving myself. I was the center of MY Universe and that made me at least feel powerful or at least in control of the narrative. Ironically, it just made the gap between my peers and I wider. That's maybe what originally caused my communication's trouble. To counter that, I decided to help them deal with their issues, even if it meant hiding mines. I was just so happy that I wasn't seen anymore as this weird and quirky person, at least that's what I thought. I always imagined that with a world full of people to help, finding a solution to their problems would help me be full and not worry about me. What I didn't realise was the ever-growing rift between me and my issues, but that again, I will come back to that later.
I met the other one and it changed a lot. It was the first time that I felt like a side character in my own story. To see that someone could be better than me at the only thing I had for me (back in the day), it was both devastating and refreshing. What people mistook for lor love was simply admiration. See, you don't just lose love when that person breaks you, it takes a really long and deep healing process. I admired someone I could never in my eyes reach in terms of achievements, but it wasn't love. You want to know what happened ?
You happened, that's where everything changed.