A (long) note for you

THE REBOOT

You see, I have always considered myself lucky. I have never had to face misery, even when my parents weren't in the best financial situation. I never had any major health condition, I always had my family to help me and on top of it, I have been a grade A student. Nevertheless, if there is an area where I have been struggling, it's social interactions. For a long time, they used to be awkward. That caused me to not have a lot of friends, but again, I have already mentioned it. Communication became better in my last year of high school and let me say that You played a big role in that improvement. Well before we had anything romantic going on, You helped me gain confidence and maturity, and that alone improved my communication skills. 

So, when You refused my confession for the hundredth  time and got into another relationship, I felt like I had to cut You off, to ignore You because it just reminded me of the hurtful time that was high school. That's why I did everything I could to forget about You during the upcoming summer: deleting our conversations, ignoring your stories, everything that could be helpful. But again

Life comes at you faster than you think.

A random day in September, I got the most unexpected news: You were back in the single game. At the time, I felt another shot of hope, happiness, like life and God wanted to send me a message, but I also had to make a choice: either continue moving forward without You or try again with You. The second one meant throwing away all the efforts I made when the first meant throwing away an unique chance. I then took my courage in both hands and reached You again. The moment I heard your voice again, I was hit by millions of butterflies in my stomach, a raging smile was uncontrollably displaying itself on my face. You were there, at the other end of the phone, but your presence was well felt in my room. All the pain I had disappeared and tha's when I realised something: I prefer the joy felt with You more than the pain I will get far from You. It sparked a long, very long, phase of flirting between us. A lot of dates, "unexpected" encounters at the mall and trips. We were already in relationship, just without the seal "couple". After a year of struggle, it finally happened: We kissed once, twice, then it became a common thing when we met, we got more and more intimate to the point where I asked us which status we had. I thought that I was finally ready to prove You my worth, and at the time I felt like I did. But things are never easy and jumping in a long distance relationship is no easy task.

Germany then happened; like in the history books, when Germany gets involved it's always a sign of complication. Germany was a turning point for me and for our relationship who hadn't even really started yet.