A (long) note for you

THE HARSH REALITY

Whether You want to believe it or not, I was genuinely attracted to You, and I think that it was even more explicit because You were taken. Knowing that someone already belongs to an other person brings a lot of feelings. Of course there is bitterness and sadness, because you are feeling the constant pain of imagining yourself in unreasonable situations. That makes the everyday life difficult, particularly in high school, where you meet the reason of your pain every single day. On the contrary, it also brings excitement, a little buzz in your mind, some drive that will serve as a motor in your life. And that's where I put myself. I wanted to make our relationship evolve and I was ready to do everything in my power, even if it meant going against the rules. I think that's where I decided to be more "mature", to impress You, to show You that I was reliable, that You could trust me, that we could be something, somehow, someday. I knew very well that You were already involved somewhere else, but I wasn't ready to let You go, not with the school year slowly reaching its end. Do You remember the school festival where the german professor was mad against Iou? I recall You being so sad, because You felt like You disappointed him and I think that was the first time that you showed your "vulnerability". Behind all that confidence and brightness was hidden something more interesting. You were in a way similar to me, but also so different. I was just, amazed. Amazed by your humanity, but also your sincerity. Everything You said to me felt so true, so real, and back in the day I would believe everything you said. I was such a groupie haha! I almost got lost in my story. I think that all the rambling allows me to control myself and not burst in shambles after every single word. I confessed to you and it just went unnoticed or at least thats how it felt that day! You basically suggested that I should look for another person, that You weren't the one for me. That wasn't unusual to me, I already knew what would happen, but I still believed, I still had some hope. What felt even more difficult was the fact that you didn't cut ties with me. We still hung out, went to the movies, we even went to Prom night together, when You were single. We had such great connexion and vibes and yet you never wanted me. I think that the worst was that every one around us shipped our couple better than us, and yet, You never wanted me. The day came and you announced me that You would be going out with someone...not named me. That was the last straw for me. I was both destroyed and furious. That lone moment drifted us apart for a good amount of time, but again

Life comes at you faster than you think.