An Unofficial Guide To Living a Happy, Worry Free + Fulfilling Life

March 19: The Confidence Continues

So I might not classify this as being super out of my comfort zone, but I spent a little while at the beach by myself today.

My cousin and I enjoyed a lovely catch up after not seeing each other for a month and thought what better way to meet each other than at our second home - the beach. Soon enough, she had to skedaddle, leaving me to my own vices.

The sun was so damn hot today and my vitamin D supplies thanked the burning ball for fulfilling the daily quota.

It felt so divine to bask in the natural light and dive under salty, fresh waves, lulling me softly back and forth.

It pains me to say I haven't had a proper beach day in about a month too. For someone who considers saltwater as being vital to understanding who she is and reconciling all of her issues within using the power of the water, I've been a bad girl. We'll call it cheating on my one true love.

But I'm glad I went. When it was just me at the beach (plus random other beach-goers), I began to feel my heart throbbing through my throat. I was debating whether or not to have another swim. Not sure what's more shocking - that I had heart palpitations about going for a swim or that I even considered going for swim number two.

Looking at my sweaty, sand-covered body, my answer had to be yes. And as basic as this would seem to most people, I found myself debating when would be a good time to go in for about five minutes. I was shrouded in anxiety about the walk from towel to water's edge, due to the maybe-but-provably-not peering eyes of the rest of my beach companions.

But I did it. And I felt good for it. And my body was shaking. I swear I've just gotten worse with the whole physical manifestations of my fears. It's a bit scary sometimes.

Oh but the fun doesn't stop there! I decided to drive myself to work and pick up my pay (cha-ching). Again, those damn heart palpitations got me and I was so bloody thankful that it was my two favourite coworkers who were able to greet me and not the boss. They eased some of that tension and helped me walk back to the car with a little more ease. (Side note: when the fuck did everything become such a task and inflict so many physical manifestations and appear to be so difficult?)

All in all, we'll call this two acts of confidence in one day. And it looks to be two more tomorrow - I'll keep you posted on my progress.