This stuff is very hard.
It's hard to remain focussed and to not feel anxious and for your mind to be all over the place.
I'm currently taking a holiday and each day has felt so far from just that. I don't even feel like me. I hate that so intensely - not feeling like yourself. It is singlehandedly one of the most debilitating and unrelenting experiences.
Three days in and I've had a cry by myself in front of the ocean. I'm actually quite surprised the crying didn't happen sooner as I've been feeling like a steaming pile of shit for too long.
I don't seem to want to talk to my family and I constantly need to tell myself not to breakdown as we walk the streets.
The aim of a vacation is, in essence, to rejuvenate you. So far I haven't felt that, and I'm so very close to another round of tears just thinking that there's still seven days of this trip left yet.
Hormones are still fucking up my happiness and levels of comfortability and I literally feel as though I need to cry whenever someone tries speaking to me. I hate this feeling of not being the master of my emotions, and it's been going on for almost a week now. Fucking periods and the inability to adjust to new situations. Fuck it all at the moment. It really sucks.
Feeling the constant need for sleep (catching up on some, and because when is exhaustion never around?) but everyone keeps saying to leave the hotel. I have a few times. We've still got three more friggen days here. I just want to sleep, man. My soul feels so exhausted.
I feel so unhappy with this piece. I can't even put enough energy into it.
Long story short: it takes a lot out of you when you test the boundaries of your comfort in scenarios each day. I am worn out from only the tiniest tasks and am so disappointed in this. Not sure if I've made progress or not.
It sometimes takes a lot - or not so much - to feel happy, worry-free and fulfilled.
Going to catch you at another time, I'm off to nap
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An Unofficial Guide To Living a Happy, Worry Free + Fulfilling Life
EspiritualThat's what we're all chasing, right? Happiness. Satisfaction. Freedom from fear? Check back here for journal entries containing real life lessons and hopefully the answers to some of life's biggest hurdles as I work through my own in real time! Ult...
