Nephilim

2 - The Erudite

Tina was probably the first decent looking woman to pay so much attention to me. Okay, she wasn't really a woman. I refused to call her an angel even now, but she wasn't human. But she was a woman-angel. You get what I mean. And she paid attention to me for all the wrong reasons. Because it wasn't really me she was interested in. After my first and only meeting with her, she had disappeared, her place reclaimed by the suspiciously fuzzy looking stall owner. He looked at me funny and asked me what had happened. I simply shook my head and asked for another roll, having dropped my previous one. Angels have a way of startling you. And yes, they abandon you too.

I spent almost all week trying to identify of the last word she had said to me. 'Nephilim'. Apparently that was what I was. A week into research and I still don't know exactly what it meant. I had tried googling it and it led me to a thousand different interpretations of the word. The only thing I knew for sure about it was that the word came from Biblical mythology. But that was it. Some articles talked about how the Nephilim were the sons of God and others talked about them being a hybrid of an angel and a human. I sure as hell refused to believe that the woman who abandoned me about 2 hours after my birth was an angel. Because not only would that be ironic; it would be so ironic it would metaphorically kick Shakespeare's high and mighty backside. And I definitely wasn't a 'son of God'. What did that mean anyway? All those churches and temples and mosques harped on about all of us being the children of God. So then what on earth was a Nephilim?

Another thing I was pissed off about was Tina's disappearance. You say something to intrigue a person and then you fuck off, making sure that the intrigue grows and becomes borderline mania. The funny thing about intrigue is, it's easy to turn the tables. You show you aren't all that interested and the person before you tries doubly hard to get you to show some kind of interest, thus revealing the cards they hold close to chest. Life is one big game of poker. And so far, Tina looked like a bluffer.

I was miffed as I couldn't exactly find a reference book in the library about how to summon an angel. Most whackjobs would suggest, "praying" and I am not sure that would help. I've often wondered how praying helps. I suppose it might be cathartic, but writing a letter could do that too. Praying means you are letting go of control. Control is perhaps the only thing we humans; the animals that think, have. Control is essential. You control your base urges. Control your thoughts. Control your emotions. Control your expressions. Remember that thing I said about life being a poker game? Control and no one can guess the kind of player you are.

Control.

Control.

Control.

When you decide to pray, you're letting God, someone you've never met and never understood, take control of your life. And then when it doesn't work out, you curse the entity you prayed to. That, I believe, is what one would call a 'flop' in the poker game. A flop is the first three cards that are revealed once cards have been dealt to the players. If you base all your games on the flop, there is a good chance someone will outdo you or see right through you.

For now, I was finding it extremely difficult to control my rage as far as Tina's disappearance was concerned. And with the amount of research I had been doing over the past week, I could give an exam on the angels. Meeting her had completely messed up my sleep as well. The total amount of sleep I had this week just managed to get out of the single digit zone. One would think these were all the symptoms of falling in love. I laughed out loud. Love. God. Angels. We humans find messed up excuses for our odd behavior.

However, my luck changed the following Tuesday. For the better or for the worse, I couldn't identify yet. I had ditched my job and was digging a big hole in my savings, which didn't amount to much in the first place. I had been burning the midnight oil at the local library, doing further research on the angels and other biblical beings when a man in an ill-fitting black suit propped himself in the chair opposite me. With a quick glance, I then returned to the book I was reading. I couldn't help but feel a certain dislike towards him. I was growing rather wary of people in suits. He cleared his throat. I closed my book with a loud snap and gave an exaggerated sigh, finally turning to look at him.