Nephilim

12 - The Poor Imitation

For the lack of a better option, I decided to sit and talk to the thing in my head. I decided that I would listen but I am not sure whether I'd believe. As soon as I made this decision, something ticked inside my head. This was all too easy.

Just because it's easy does not make it any less true.

Says you, I thought. But I knew the Horseman wasn't wrong. I admonished myself. I was never quite so belligerent. I had always been super economical and had fewer resources at my disposal. This had taught me to pick my battles carefully. I was going to have to remember that.

Very wise. I am not against you.

Neither are you on my side, I thought.

That's true enough.

Well, the Horseman wasn't lying right now. I decided to test this further. I asked it whether it was a he or a she.

No gender. And neither am I mortal. Well, unless God wishes otherwise.

Alright then. No way to kill it. Was there a way to silence it?

I'm afraid not. I can always hear you if I want to.

Why, I wondered. And what did it mean by wanting to hear my thoughts?

Are you familiar with the story of the Tower of Babylon? You humans couldn't be more wrong about it. According to you, the humans were creating a short-cut to heaven. This seemingly pissed God off and so he broke down the escalator you had built and scattered all of you with different ideals and thoughts and languages etc. This is inaccurate.

Well, isn't this just cozy. A Horseman of the Apocalypse is telling me the Bible got it wrong.

On other days, I appreciate your sarcasm but what I say is true. God gave you guys different principles and tongues for a different reason. Every living thing functions on a particular wavelength. This enables it to connect and communicate to other beings on the same or a similar wavelength. Ever disliked someone the moment you saw them? That's because you both function on different planes that are never meant to meet. This was to keep all of you from going insane. The angels as well as the demons are privy to a great number of these planes. It means they can read the thoughts of most organisms; unless you learn to conceal them really well. Over the centuries, even The Erudite Church has invented devices and spell to enable them to eavesdrop. The Horsemen, however, are far superior in this matter to all of them. We perceive most creatures. I am built in a way that I can hear everything that you think.

Well, isn't that just super! I almost groaned out loud. And then immediately I had a thought. If the Horseman can hear what I think, am I privy to all it's thoughts too?

Nope. This isn't a two-way street. You can't know what I am thinking.

Great. So I don't know if it's planning to kill me or... well, kill me. A sudden warmth filled inside me. It was as if the Horseman was laughing.

I won't kill you unless I think it's absolutely necessary. In the beginning I was very tempted. Killing you would mean I can take complete control over your vessel. I don't have to put up with your human-drama. But you might prove to be useful to me. And you're also mildly entertaining. However, over time, as I reside within you, your resolve over yourself will weaken. The decisions I make, if they happen to counter yours, will be much weighty and therefore, acted upon.

So basically, my will is going to be drawn out? No can do. Sticks and stones may break my bones but my will is made of sterner stuff.

I am not putting that to test. However, I may know of a technique that will enable you to shut me out if you want to.

Why should I believe what it says? What if I can't shut it out and it hears me.

I don't think you have much of a choice there.

Fair enough. How can I shut it out, then?

I can't help but notice... there's a Horseman inside your head. You keep complaining about it. And yet you are curious and worried only about yourself. I am the Horseman of Death. So much bigger than a lot of things. And you still want to ask about things that concern only you?! Are you not worried about the greater, far more terrible things?

No, I thought. I am never worried about the bigger picture. The bigger picture always has the least significance. I prefer starting small and wading my way through a wider path. So how can I shut out the voice?

It's going to be mostly through my will. You're going to have to trust me for this. If you're going to think about something that you don't wish for me to know, you'll have to first have a pre-decided thought in your head. I will... let's just I will do something that is the equivalent of shutting my ears. The pre decided thought is just a sort of a signal. Like picturing a door that's closed or a 'keep out' sign.

Is there anything that won't require me trusting it?

I'm afraid not.

Oh well, isn't that just peachy? Trust the Horseman to keep out. Maybe another time.

What's wrong with now?

I almost laughed out loud. How about the fact that you just said not more than 5 minutes ago that you have no qualms about killing me except for the fact that you still have some use for me. I'm curious. What use am I to you, anyway?

More like uses. To begin with, you're entertaining. You're insignificant. I don't mean unimportant. What I mean is, if you were to disappear, no one would miss you. However, being the genius that you are, you've managed to grab the attention of all the celestial as well as the hellish beings. They'll be after you soon.

Didn't the Horseman mean that they will be after it?!

You still believe we are separate. We aren't. I am not a parasite. I am perfectly capable of existing without your soul yapping about. But I am willing to keep you around.

Right. Because they didn't have the television when the stuff in the Genesis happened.

It's more than just that. I need you because of what you are. You are human.

I tried hard to think about what it meant. I'm human. So?

So you come with a super power. Humans were not called a 'poor imitation of God' for nothing.

What did it mean?

What I mean is... like God, you humans have a super power that other beings don't. Humans can create.