Nephilim

11 - To hear

Hello! And I apologize for the month long hiatus I took from Nephilim. The reason for this was: 1) I was trying to identify how to proceed with Act 2 and 2) I was working on my other Wattpad story, Poetic Sensibility (which is finally complete! Yay!). And now I have a decent idea on how this story is going to progress. Therefore, thank you for your patience and happy reading!

Horseman. There's a Horseman in my head. One of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. In my fucking head. I need to be locked up.

Aren't you being just a little bit... overdramatic?

I was incredibly tempted to ask the Horseman to shut up but... well... it was the Horseman after all.

Aah, showing respect, are we? You know I prefer being called 'Nephilim' over 'Horseman'. It just sounds more bad ass.

The Horseman. Whining in my head. About being badass. I tried to hang on to the last shreds of sanity by trying to occupy myself with mundane tasks such as showering and doing the laundry. Miraculously, it seemed as if it was working. The Horseman had shut up for almost an hour.

I was only trying to respect your privacy. Looks like you missed me.

I almost dropped the hammer on my foot when I heard it him again. I wondered how those people who are shut up in mental facilities get used to the voices in their head and hallucinations.

Easy. They think of those voices as long lost friends.

Right. The Horseman was sounding almost wistful in my head. Because friends was what he totally needed right now. I tried to resume my tasks while he kept up an annoying humming in my head. While I was dusting the shelves above my desk, I felt the notebook Zoya had given me. It was burning hot. I pulled it out and wondered whether I should open it with the Horseman listening in.

I am always listening in. You might as well open and read what the pretty girl is saying.

Zoya? Pretty? I hadn't noticed. It never seemed important.

Yeah, it isn't important. Go on. Open the book. I'm kinda curious.

I tried to figure out whether his curiosity was a good thing or bad. Without any definitive result. I went ahead and opened the book, afraid that she'd erase it soon.

The day was full of... interesting stuff. I have so much to tell you. Almost once a month, the trainees host this bonfire thing that is supervised by a rather sleepy and bored-looking mentor. And I made a friend. She introduced herself as Aatmi. I asked her how she ended up here and she muttered something that sounded like, "family legacy". I told her about how I developed in interest in demonology and exorcism after watching a creepy movie and she didn't question. She probably believes I am thick-headed which works in my favour because she won't be afraid of spilling out a thing or two to someone who can't put two and two together.

I pretended to sound extremely interested in her. After listening to her drone on about how she was going to be an awesome Tribunal, the best ever, I thought it was safe to ask about TEC, so I did. She wrinkled her nose and looked at me as if I was supremely dense when I asked about the Elders. "There are 5," she told me. "There is no hierarchy among them as they are all equals. The Elders chose their own successors; and these are usually mentors. They live a natural human life so there is no immortality or any such nonsense. But they do live a pretty darn long life. However, if 3 of 4 members do not approve of an heir chosen by an Elder, there is a hearing of sorts wherein the decision may be vetoed and a different heir may be chosen if the nominee's deemed unworthy. They've seen all kinds of horrors. Or at least heard about them."

She then went silent and I asked about these 'horrors' that she mentioned. She talked about the usual demons and pesky angels (wow!) as well as cherubs and all kinds of minions that the supernatural superiors use. Why is the Earth so important to them? She has no idea and I believe her. That look of ignorance is hard to fake. I asked about the church and the carvings all over the place and she kept going on about how I should 'study harder' because I needed to know all the carvings and wards for my tests. Yes, we have exams. Quit laughing, it's not funny. Then she went quiet as there was a sort of display put up by the Second Years... a little weapon and spell show-off thing. It was fine. Nothing extraordinary. I will continue digging. Look after yourself.

She sounds like she's having fun.

I tried to ignore the voice in my head and wondered how I could communicate with Zoya and tell her I'm going insane and that she can't trust me.

Now I am seriously going to start taking offence if you pronounce yourself insane one more time. Also, you're talking about not being able to trust me. What makes you think you can trust her? Why would she agree to do something so hazardous for a guy she'd only met. You're pretty for a human but not *that* pretty. Did you ever think about that?

Yes, I had. I didn't question her story. It felt like the right thing to do.

Oh right. The sob story about an abusive father. Ever wondered if she might be an excellent liar?

No. I wasn't going to listen to the Horseman. He was messing about with my head.

Duh.

I needed peace and quiet and that was probably not going to happen for me in this life time. Instead, I tried thinking of ways to penetrate TEC and just speak to her once.

Or you could just ask me nicely?

Ask the Horseman? But there were wards and stuff all over the building to keep out unsavoury forces. How could the Horseman, who was also me, possibly enter? His answer made me shiver.

One can keep many, many things at bay. But how, I wish to know, can one keep out Death?

No, I thought, the wards and protection may not harm Death and keep him out. But I, as a vessel, would be very vulnerable. In all likelihood, I'd die and still keep walking because the Horseman would animate my body. That was possible indeed. I needed more information about the Horseman. And not the stuff that was fed by him. I needed another expert. For as long as I've lived, I've always been alone but never particularly lonely. Today, I had an immortal creature in my head. I was not alone. But I had never felt lonelier.

Aww. You know that can change if you'd just listen to me.

Maybe, I thought. Maybe not. Alright, I decided. For the first time I addressed the thing in my head directly. I will hear you. But do not expect me to listen.