Nephilim

13 - The Force And The First

I spent a long, long time thinking about what the Horseman had said about trusting it. I realized that there was hardly anyone I trusted. And then I took it back. I didn't trust anyone. Not even Zoya, now that the Horseman had managed to sow the seed of doubt in my mind and it had taken root. In a way, I know I should be thankful because not trusting her would protect me but having no one did make me sound like a loser.

You'll always have me.

I just learned that things seem REALLY bad when a voice inside your head starts mocking you. The next few days, I felt as if I have been in a trance. When I decided that I had had enough of dry snacks and biscuits that I stocked in the shit hole, I decided to finally venture out for a half decent meal. When I reached a cheap road-side dosa joint, I spotted Tina across the road. So far, the Horseman had been on stand by mode and hadn't said much but the minute the angel crossed my peripheral vision, the Horseman seemed to have sprung into action.

I have the power to cloak myself completely to everyone, including my own kind. I'm going to put it on so that the angel doesn't sense me. It won't do you any good if they find out I've taken up base here. But donning the cloak also means I won't be able to hear your thoughts and conversation. This means I am going to rely on you to relay everything to me. The angel is drawing near. I am going to go now.

One can easily identify with me when I am overcome with pure, unadulterated fury once I learn that the Horseman CAN shut himself out of my head and not listen to what I think without me having to trust it. Unfortunately, as my luck would have it, the Horseman had already cloaked himself and couldn't be intimidated by my outrage.

"So has Zed managed the infiltration into TEC?" she asked me with a slight smirk. 

Remember that feeling of me wanting to destroy something beautiful? It raged harder within me than ever before. Was it due to the Horseman? Possibly. To be honest, I liked it that all the emotions raging inside of me had intensified due to the Horseman. Wait, what? Where did that thought come from?! Did I really feel that way? Or was it because I was slowly starting to adapt him? I could be sure of nothing.

"Indeed, they have. Zed's doing well, thanks for asking." That wiped the smirk off from her face. Good.

"And how much snooping around have you been doing?" she asked.

"You're here to chit-chat, are you? Or to make sure I haven't been taken over by the Nephilim? Really, Tina, your social skills are super rusty. Or is it an angel-thing?" I asked. She was seething. Nice.

"Fine!" she thundered. Only she could be thundering and still sound too soft for anyone around to hear. "I am here to make sure you are still you. And it seems like that, considering you're still thick headed and arrogant as ever. But remember I have more knowledge about what's going to come inside you than you do," she mocked me.

Of course she thought that. After all, she was the one sharing all her thoughts with a Horseman who was sharing them back with her. Wait a minute. The Horseman could hear all my thoughts. I could hear the ones it 'spoke' to me. But what if I could hear everything that was going on in it's head? There had to be a way to do that. But how was I going to know?