BlackHill | If only

Chapter 3

Natasha's POV:
Empty. Darkness. It was all I could feel, my body swimming in a never-ending inky black pool searching for some light. Her face appeared in my mind, images of her dark hair swinging in front of me. Her face as she watched me train, the face watching me through the hospital window. The face I hoped would be there to pull me out. Her snarky voice telling me "Hurry up Romanoff, Fury won't wait all day". I wished she could be with me, a light in the darkness. But it could never be.

I began to hear a new voice echoing in my mind, pulling me from the blackness beneath my feet. My body finally gained feeling and I awoke to the sensation of my body being lightly shaken. My eyes barely fluttered open but I managed a groan as I saw her face. Wanda. Her eyes filled with concern as she gently leaned back, away from my reproachful gaze. 'God I wish it wasn't her. I can't deal with this right now. Not here.'

My eyes fully opened this time and I shifted my body, trying to get a glimpse of my surroundings. I had made it onto our ship thank god. By some miracle, the avengers had known to come. Maybe Fury had something to do with it, maybe he had a guilty conscience after sending me into the lion's den.
Or maybe it was Hill...

My trail of thoughts was interrupted by a familiar low voice. "Hey Nat, glad to see you're awake, How are you feeling?". I slowly pivoted my neck towards Steve managing a huff of protest. "I've been better". I slumped back down as if that took all my energy. Steve chuckled "You've certainly looked better". I raised my hand in a vulgar gesture towards him, it was the only response I could manage.

Throughout the rest of the flight I drifted in and out of consciousness, occasionally catching wisps of conversation between the team. Other times I drifted in the darkness, always taken back to that day. The day I realised I could never have what I wanted.
During the entire journey, Wanda never spoke. Not a word.

Maria's POV:
As soon as I saw Romanoff's red hair on the camera my body shuddered with relief. I tried to discern through the screen if she had sustained any injuries but the camera was too blurry. Maybe it was better if I didn't know, I was still haunted by that day memories suddenly appearing in my mind.

I managed to push the thoughts away with a shaky breath. "Rogers, status report. Does Romanoff need medical assistance?"
A short crackling came before Steve's response. "She doesn't look good Hill, she keeps losing consciousness but I think Banner may be able to help".
The response left me uneasy so I attempted to focus on the job at hand. "Was there any news on the target?".
Rogers reply came through solemnly "Nothing Agent Hill, not a trace".
I was instantly filled with rage, Romanoff's suffering had brought us no closer to this menace. We had almost lost a valued agent because of a stupid mistake.
Much like a mistake I made before—
'Stop! These thoughts will get you nowhere'
No matter how hard I tried to push it away the screeching of tires still reverberated in my skull.

I was almost grateful for Fury's phone call, no matter how p!ssed I was at him I couldn't bear to relive that day. As soon as I answered the phone I sent a volley of insults down the other end, swiftly followed by, "FURY YOU SON OF A B!TCH!, HOW COULD YOU?".
I managed to cool myself down as he responded with a half-ass apology. The best kind of apology you'd ever get from Fury. "Agent Hill I suggest you control yourself." His voice ever calm and collected. "Romanoff knew the risks when becoming an avenger. Thanks to her we have unveiled our biggest threat"

My blood boiled at the thought of Romanoff being an experiment, nothing more than a guinea pig to test the waters. She had already suffered enough thanks to the Red Room and SHIELD included. Sometimes I heard her screams in the compound at night as she relived the horrors of the red room. All I could ever do was sit there and feel helpless. Much like today.

Fury quickly briefed me on some new mission that he would go into more detail on later. But I was no longer focused on him all I could hear in my head was the screeching of tires and screaming. Her screaming.