Chapter 8: Disappointment

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In the eyes of Romeo, Null was a disappointment. The Virus knew that better than anyone. But that was fine. Null hated Romeo back. But that didn't say much since he hated everyone. Including himself. Hatred was all he knew. He didn't need anything else.

I don't need anything else. I don't. I don't! I DON'T!

Lying to himself was one of his favorite hobbies.

Has Null always been this resentful? He liked to think so, but he knew that wasn't really true. There was once a time when Null was just like any other Virus: obedient, subservient, and much, much more cheerful. Back then, Romeo was so much nicer. He didn't treat him as a slave like he does now. He treated him as an equal. Null missed those days.

I don't miss those days! I'm perfectly fine the way I am now! I don't need ANYONE!

Again, lying to himself was one of his favorite hobbies.

But what has changed? Why did Romeo change? Why did Xara and Fred change? Why did EVERYTHING change? ...And more importantly, why did HE change?

Was it because of that brat? The stupid, drooling baby that Fred and Xara had together and kept secret from Romeo until the inevitable moment when he discovered their deceit? Was SHE the one at fault? No, that can't be it. Even before she was born, the friendship between the three Admins was already strained. So if it wasn't the baby...what was it?!

Was it Fred and Xara who were at fault? The two of them HAD considered giving up their Admin powers before they even had the child. Not to mention that they've been leaving Romeo out of their affairs, making him feel abandoned and unwanted. Could that have been the cause behind his sudden transformation from a kind and caring mentor into a cruel and twisted monster? No, they weren't the ones to blame either. It was hardly their fault that they no longer wanted to be Admins. Yes, they wished for it, but they couldn't possibly have fathomed the amount of responsibility heaped onto them, as well as their newfound immortality forcing them to outlive everything and everyone they held dear. They were just humans, after all.

Unless...yes, it was so obvious now! The Old Man of the Sky was behind this! He was the one who gave Fred, Xara, and Romeo their powers in the first place. If they hadn't become Admins, then old age would have killed them off long before they began drifting apart and calling each other enemies. Fred and Xara would never have had a child together and planned on giving up their powers, Romeo would never have lost his mind from grief, and Null wouldn't be suffering from THEIR mistakes right now! Yes, he could see that smug smile on the old man's face already. He was to blame for this mess Null was currently in.

A sudden epiphany made his argument against the Old Man of the Sky fall down like a house of cards. It was true that he was a vile, remorseless, and evil being...but that was just in his nature, wasn't it? Notch had ALWAYS been like this, from before time itself even came into existence. As old as Romeo was, Notch was much, MUCH older. He was really more of a force of nature than a man. It was like blaming a hurricane for decimating a village.

So if the brat wasn't at fault, and neither was Fred, Xara, Romeo, and Notch...then who was? After one hundred years of finger pointing and mental gymnastics, Null was still just as clueless as before. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like NOBODY was at fault. It was all just a string of incredibly unlucky events leading up to this point.

Still, even that answer was not enough to satisfy Null in the slightest. He still had so much anger, hatred, and spite trapped inside of him, waiting to get out. The Virus felt like he was going to DIE from so much hatred in his veins, like poison.

He had to find a way to REDIRECT that anger. But...to whom?

It didn't take much thought to pick Romeo as the perfect candidate. He may not have started out as a tyrant and oppressor, but he was still directly responsible for the pain and suffering Null had to go through while cowering in the Admin's shadow. Well, no longer! Null refused to go out as a coward who wouldn't even stand up for himself. If he was going to go down...he will make sure that Romeo is dragged down with him.

In the meantime, the Virus will just have to wait. He must be patient if his plan was to go off without a hitch. His hatred will keep him company. He didn't need anything else...right?

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