Duplicity [h.s]

97

(i am not a doctor so a lot of terms I use here are definitely wrong so forgive me as I try my best)

tw: blood/descriptive pain

Aven Brooks

I love the sun.

There's something about it that makes you feel like everything is going to be okay. The way it can warm you in all the right spots. It blankets with a type of comfort that's not easily come by, a natural solace. I've always appreciated a love for the sun, even on my darkest days when I want nothing but to exists in the dark.

I just can't help but stare at it sometimes.

I know you're not suppose to, but how can you not gaze at something you love so much? It's hard. I still don't understand why a higher power or science or whatever you choose to believe in—made the sun impossible to look at. It's the sun, it's suppose to represent warmth.

I stare until my eyes go sightless, shutting and diverting them down to my feet dug under the beach sand. I see rallying spots behind my eyelids, rubbing them to adjust my vision from the sting. I guess that's the thing about the sun, it doesn't want you to stare to long. It doesn't want to be noticed. Because when you do, that's when you see things you don't like. Maybe the sun only wants you to look at it for a moment because it knows it's not as beautiful as it's led out to be. Because the more you look, the more you see. If I stare too long, I realize the beautiful sun I adore is actually a cluster of violent fire that can blow up any moment and combust the earth into a trillion particles that will seize mankind to ever exist.

I guess even the sun—isn't as pure as it's led out to be.

But it does its part and brings warmth to all the elements on the earth. It's making the sand so warm for me. The deeper I dig my feet into the grains, the cooler it is to my skin. It's equivalent to the cold side of a pillow, I couldn't get enough. The deeper I dig them, the more frigid my toes feel.

The wind breathing through my loose clothes makes me feel something. I don't know what but it's blissful. When I close my eyes, I feel like I'm anywhere I want to be. I can see colours dancing in unison of freedom and prosperity. When I take a deep breath in, I feel the sunlight fill my lungs until they go tight. When I breathe out, it's like a release of everything I've ever been worried about. The aroma of the salt water ocean crashing against the shoreline is like a high I can't explain. When I look at it, all I see is a peaking mirage of blues. The sunlight bounces off the reflection and makes the tide look friendly even though it could swallow me whole. The crashing waves blankets a thin layer of liquid glass over the shoreline, wetting the same patches of sand over and over.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

I turn my head to the voice on my left, catching the side profile of a breathtaking man sitting in the sand next to me. A loose white pair of shorts and no shirt, he sits with his knees tucked in the air and his bare feet buried in the sand like mine. His forearms stay perched on his knees, his hands intertwined together when meeting between them.

I glimpse down at his body, seeing how there wasn't one blemish to his skin. No scars on his back, none on his chest, no tattoos up his arms. He's a blank canvas. I've never seen him so bare.

"When did you get here?" I ask over the gentle wind.

He keeps his green eyes out on the water, the waves crashing to depict the atmosphere of tranquility. It fills my ears, I hear seabirds in the distance too.

"I don't know." He whispers in an unbothered state.

His face, it's clear of any damage. No bruises or cuts or paleness from lack of energy. He's the picture of health, he even has a slight tan to him. He's glowing, it's a comforting sight to see. The calming breeze only blows his soft chestnut hair in different directions as it dances in his eyes sometimes.