Duplicity [h.s]

17

3rd update in three days woot woot

My alarm blared in my ear as I shot up out of bed in panic. I gasped out into the room I forgot I was in for a second but soon to understand it was just my hotel room. I looked over at my phone that was next to me at the end of the bed, 4:30am.

My lights were still on, the television still playing an infomercial due to the dead watcher time. I shut off my alarm, realizing I fell asleep at the foot of the bed in all my clothes form yesterday.

I didn't do anything yesterday after Harry left—nothing but cried in fear, anger, and utter sadness.

The thoughts of what he said stayed with me all night. I didn't feel safe, I thought he was going to burst in any second and put a bullet through my head in my sleep. Anytime I heard a noise I shot up from my bed, thinking it was him getting in my room somehow again. I couldn't turn off the lights, I was petrified of not seeing my surroundings.

Now it was time for me to get up, and I don't know if I was happy about that or not.

I did know one thing for sure, I needed to get out of this tainted hotel room. I locked myself in it nearly all day yesterday, now I was traumatized of the cream coloured walls and what conversations I had within them.

Harry's mug sat on the table all night, I couldn't dare touch it because that's how scared I was of him. A part of me wanted to get it out of my sight, chuck it down the hall or something so it would shatter. Now I had to get up, gather my things and get on the tour bus. Just so I can run into all of them again and take their pictures even knowing who they really are.

I got out of bed, my stomach aching tragically because I didn't eat yesterday. I woke up with the intentions to go sit somewhere, eat, and edit pictures. But shit hit the fan and ever since Harry threatened me it put my head in a tragic spiral where I couldn't think to stomach anything due to nerves.

But now I was physically hurting, I had to eat.

I got up and decided to pack my things quickly first before worrying about myself. I had no need to organize things, so I simply just throw my clothes in the suitcase and zip it up. I didn't feel like myself, I was so lost with everything in me right now. I haven't talked to anyone since Harry left, zero phone calls. Apart of me wanted to just cry on the phone to my grandma or Marissa, but I was scared to tell anyone what's happening.

I'm scared he'll find out.

He gave me my phone back, and left me alone. For all he knows I could run to the police station immediately and have him arrested in a blink, but for some reason he knows I won't do that.

I won't do it not because I care about him, I won't do it because I'm scared of the fact he's so relaxed about it. If he's relaxed, that means he knows that whatever I'll do, it won't work. He is too trusting in me because he knows he's untouchable. I don't have evidence on him, not since he erased my pictures.

And if I run to the police and it doesn't work out, he will kill me.

I cleaned myself up, finished packing my things, got dressed, and now I was heading downstairs to get on the bus. I grabbed some of the snacks from the hotel room to shove in my pocket and snack on the bus. My stomach was cramping out of hunger and probably even nerves.

I speed walk down the hallway on this early morning, my suitcase rolling behind me being the only thing making noise. I got in the empty elevator, going down to the lobby alone. I've had this heaviness in my chest since yesterday, making me think it would never go away. I was so tired and worn out it felt, fear will do that to you.