Duplicity [h.s]

58

^sweater weather but you're making out in a car during a rainstorm ;) I made it specifically for this chapter.

The serotonin washing over my body the second our lips scarcely touch was unlike anything I've ever experienced. I don't know if it was because of the build or the message behind it—but this kiss was the most meaningful kiss I've ever had.

After prolonging the moment for so long, his soft lips finally grazed mine in pure paradise. Holding the side of his neck while he held my face, we stay frozen in our very first kiss together. My airways force me to inhale through my nose in the midsts of it all as he literally took my breath away. I wanted to savour the moment of his cherry lips finally on mine, I knew from this point forward I'll remember it forever. The rain was pouring down on the car, Sweater Weather humming from the radio.

The kiss was very fragile and timid. He kept it unmoving and just lightly touching like apart of him was still holding back. They were barely together, just enough to say it was a kiss. He timidly grazed our bottom lips like he was scared to completely commit and conjoin fully.

Despite that— his lips were beautiful to the touch, soft and cold from the rain. They were frozen against me, not moving like he was unsure of what to do and how to undecidedly commit to the act of intimacy.

He was so frightened of intimacy.

I open my eyes for a second, seeing his pinched shut in what looks like concentration and nerves. He was still fighting to completely give in, this was so much for him to do no matter how much his heart wanted him to do it. With my knowledge, he hasn't kissed someone in a very long time. By the look on his face, he was overwhelmed and overthinking it all.

I pull my lips back, making his heavy eyes open like the simple kiss sucked all his energy. Holding my face he met eyes with mine, frantically looking back and forth between my two pupils like he was erratic he did something wrong already.

"Just relax..." I nod, lacing my hands up from his neck and into his wet hair. I push a lock back out of his face as he kept hold of my cheeks, breathing heavy. He nods timidly, so out of his comfort zone but doing it for me.

I lean in and conjoin our parted lips again, this time leading because he didn't know what to do. He was overthinking the action because he didn't have much experience in it. He's so use to being an expert in every form of sexual pleasure, but kissing wasn't one. Kissing wasn't a sexual thing for him I don't think, rather it was an intimate gesture. But he's scared of intimacy even if he didn't want to admit it.

I keep my feathered hands in his hair, lightly pushing the back of his head against the car seat as I control the kiss this time. I gently parted my lips against him, puzzling them together very slow and soft as he mimicked. There was no rush, I wanted to savour the moment. His hands went limp on my cheeks, eventually falling down to rest on my sides so he'd give me the full charge.

My stomach was in absolute butterflies as I motion our mouths in unison. He follows my every action of the gentle kissing, letting me conduct the rhythm until he got the hang of it himself.

I just wanted him to feel comfortable. In the movies you always see how the first kiss can make all the insecurities go away, but in cases like this it's not always true. He was scared of kissing because of what it meant to him, I know that worry wasn't going to go away the minute our lips interlocked. He needed to get comfortable with it first, knowing it was going to be okay no matter what.

In intensity of the moment, our lips separate and we both take a heavy breath. My hands hold the back of his neck while leaning my forehead against his, the back of his head pressed into the leather seat. I open my eyes again and see his still wired shut, trying to catch his own breath. It wasn't as if we were in a high pace make out session, it was the fact this was a new feeling and it was probably draining him emotionally.