definitely this time (e.p. fanfic)

Chapter 5

(Trigger Warning: contains graphic descriptions of panic attacks. read at your own discretion)

She felt the sword slice through her chest again. She saw those dark eyes stare back at her, a sadistic smile etched on his face. The blood seeped through, staining her clothes. A blinding pain gripped her, as she crumpled to the ground. Just before she fell into oblivion, he bent down to her level.

'Just because they say you're a goddess, doesn't mean you are. You can't save everyone.' Glozelle whispered.

Suddenly, she's back home in Finchley. Her grandmother stands before her, smiling, arms stretched wide. Raina smiled before running up to her. Just as she was about to reach her, she vanished.

'No! Grammy!' Raina screamed. She looked down to find her grandmother lying on the ground, lifeless.

'No no no no, not this again..please..' Raina begged.

This was the image she could never get out of her head.

She tried forcing it away, and just as she did, found herself on a battlefield. Her father, clad in khaki, races to save a solitary soldier in the line of fire. By saving him, he got the worst of the blast.

'DAD!' Raina screamed, as her chest convulsed in pain. She fell to her knees as she witnessed her father die before her eyes.

She was then transported to a corridor. The walls were white, the hallway abandoned. There was a door at the end of the hallway. Raina slowly walked forward, and peeped through the window in the door. Her heart dropped just as a long beep sound was heard.

She was suddenly caught in a chokehold, by the same man back at the Lone Islands. She couldn't get out of his grip this time. He squeezed the life out of her

You can't save everyone. A voice spoke. Raina turned around to see Edmund. Her eyes widened.

'No..Edmund.. I-' She couldn't complete her sentence.

'You left me.' He whispered. Raina's eyes watered.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I-'

'I wish I never met you.'

********

'NO!' Raina screamed.

She jolted awake, her forehead sweating profusely, her palms in tight fists, knuckles white, chest heaving. She opened her hands to see her grip drew blood. Blood.

She was laying in a hammock, in an empty room. There was a window, where she could see the water. A warm sea breeze blew in through the window. Raina took a solid 5 minutes to calm her racing breathing, as she carefully wiped the sweat from her forehead. Just then, Edmund entered the room, a concerned look on his face.

'Raina! I heard you scream. What's wrong?' He asked worriedly, as he came over to her. She didn't know how to answer. Her vision of Edmund came back as tears bubbled in her eyes. She couldn't speak. The tears fell freely.

He said he wished he never met her.

Edmund did not hesitate to pull her into his chest, and protectively wrap his arms around her, as he rested his head on top of hers. Raina held onto Edmund for dear life. After the images she saw, she needed to get them out of her head, and the one place she was always safe, though she would never really admit it, was in Edmund's arms. Her mind kept telling her not to do it, because she'll get in too deep again, and this time she wouldn't be able to recover. Raina was too exhausted, emotionally and physically to pull away. She just stayed in his arms, sniffling, as some tears fell from her eyes and onto his tunic. He soothingly rubbed her back, as he felt her relax slightly. As he pulled away, seeing the look on Raina's face made him terrified. Her eyes were red, the bags under her eyes very noticeable, her cheeks puffy, and her lips almost red. He'd known Raina a while, and not once had he ever seen her this way.