2 weeks later
Clearing my mind of all thoughts of Zavian I look in the mirror at myself. I’ve lost some weight… big time. I noticed the other day that a lot of my clothes are just baggy and big on me now. I feel different…in a good way. I feel free! Laughing I shake my head. Guess I should go shopping. Harmony and I could use some shopping. I sigh usually I go shopping with Sydney April and Dominque… they’ve all called. I’ve just ignored their calls and texts. I’ll call them today.
I throw on some sweats because they naturally fit loosely. Wont make that much of a difference. Harmony is in the living room with my mama doing only God knows what. I think that the reason my mama treats her the way she does because she really didn’t get to go through all of that with me. Plus this is her first grand child.
Kevin never told her about Courtney and the abortion. He doesn’t even like to talk about it. He says he’ll never forgive her for doing that to him. For taking his childs life away without even telling him or even letting him know she was pregnant. He says that maybe that was just a wake up call and that she probably didn’t trust him in the first place. That he would’ve taken care of his child. I still wonder why Courtney gave it up for abortion.
Truth is though I can’t talk about abortion… when I found out I was pregnant with Harmony… I considered it. I just wasn’t ready… I wasn’t even gonna tell Zavian. I knew he wanted a baby though so bad. I still wanted to finish high school though and not be looked at as one of those girls who got pregnant… I didn’t though because then I would be just like Courtney and Zavian would be beyond pissed and hurt. When I told him I was pregnant his whole face just lit up. He was so happy. That’s when he told me about us moving to Florida and how we could start our own little family. It all sounded so perfect. I felt guilty for even thinking about giving up his child..our child. Now when I look at Harmony and the joy that she gives me I think of how crazy I must have been . I also thought about adoption, but with Zavian rising up to fame that wouldn’t look good on his image at all. He wouldn’t allow it either way. Even if he was poor he wouldn’t give up his child. Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I would have went through with the abortion…I’m glad that I didn’t go through with it. Harmony completes me. I can understand to a certain extent as to what Courtney was thinking though.
Sitting down on the floor with my mama I tickle Harmony on her stomach. She lets out a little giggle.
‘’ We’re going shopping today.’’ I tell her.
My mama looks at me and smiles. ‘’ You have money right?’’
‘’Yeah Zavian sends me money like every week plus we have a joint account. We’re good mama.’’
‘’ You sound happy today.’’
I smile.’’ I am. Hey have you noticed that I’ve lost weight?’’
‘’Oh sweetie yes! Must be why you’re going shopping!’’
‘’Really mama?? I just noticed this morning, but yeah that’s why we’re going! You wanna come?’’
‘’No baby I’m fine. I’m tired. You and Harmony go ahead and go.’’ She kisses Harmony on the forehead and walks out of the living room. I fasten Harmony into her carseat.
I grab my mamas car keys as I walk out the door. I really need to buy a car. Hmmm I don’t know exactly what I want, but then again I could always ask to see if I could just get my car down here from Florida but still I could buy a car. I have the money to!
Cranking up the car I make my way to the mall. By the time we get there Harmony is sleep. I look at her and see how the time has flown by. Next week she’ll be five months. Maybe Zavian will come down for that... i really don't know.
The mall is pretty small compared to the mall up in Miami, but it's still big at the same time. I go into this store called Plus and start shopping. No one really recognizes me as Zavians fiance or anything. Everyone keeps talking about how pretty Harmony is though.
I've gone down to a 16. A 22 all the way down to a 16. I have lost some weight. I pick out a few dressses and a few other clothes. After that I go and buy Harmony some stuff.
Just as I'm walking out of the store Harmony in my arms and bags dangling from my hands Harmony decides to spit out her Pacifer!
''Really Harmony Jade!'' I hiss. Now how am I gonna pick this up. Nervously I look around. My eyes land on this fine piece of chocolate. Dressed in a white tight fitting shirt with some creased black pants on.Hair in waves. Almond shaped lips. Deep brown eyes. Looks like he just got a nice clean shave. He puts Zavian up for a run. My mouth just drops.
His eyes meet mine and he gives me a dazzling smile. Shit. '' Harmony look what you've done...gonna emberass mama like this'' I say under my breath to her still trying to smile and he walks over to me. He walks like he has some sense. Like he's educated and sophisticated. Damn!!
Gently he bends down and picks up Harmony's pacifer. ''Looks like this belongs to you gorgeous.'' He says looking at Harmony but handing the pacifer to me.
''Thank you so much.''
'' No problem. My name is Mark. I haven't seen you around before...you new?''
''No...not really I actually just moved back. I was in Miami for awile with my fiance.''
His face takes on a hint of shockness. ''Fiance...really? Is he also from around here?''
''Yeah but we're kind of seperated right now.'' I try to laugh off the pain that passes over my face.
''I understand. What's your name?''
''How rude of me. My name is Genesis.''
''Nice to meet you Genesis. Lets exchange numbers. Maybe I can take you out to eat sometime?'' His last couple of words are more like a question than a statement.
''Sure. I would love that.''
Apart of me feels horrible. I feel like I'm somewhat cheating on Zavian,but that doesnt stop me from giving Mark my number and him taking mine. The other part of me feels good and sees no harm in this. We're just exchanging numbers. No one said that I couldn't have guy friends. I shake the guilt off of my shoulders as I drive back home. There's nothing wrong with this situation. Nothing wrong at all.
Well that's this chapter! Hopefully you liked! Sorry for any mistakes! I'm gonna start writing the next one on Monday I think! Antywhoo comment vote fan tell me what you think!
