Short Stories Compilation

Betrayal (Part 3)

"Aya, may lakad ka?"

"Wala, ma. Babalik lang po ako sa condo may naiwan ako, eh."

"Sige sige mag-ingat ka."

It has been months matapos ang insidente na naganap sa pagitan namin ni Ryle, hindi na kami nakapag-usap o nagkita man lang after no'n.

Naiintindihan ko kung bakit siya lumayo sa akin. I betrayed him. Sinira ko ang tiwalang binuo niya ng mahigit 11 years. Nasasaktan ako pero deserve ko naman kasi mali ako.

Walang hihigit pa sa kagaguhan na ginawa ko. Tama lang na iwasan nila ako, tama lang na masaktan ako.

Graduate na kami next month at hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako dahil magkakaroon na ako ng sarili kong trabaho o malulungkot dahil makikita ko silang ikakasal.

"Magp-propose ako sa kanya after nating gumraduate."

I saw how the raging anger cross his eyes while talking to me. It's hurting me seeing him like this, pero mas masakit sa akin ang pinagsasasabi niya— lalo na yung ngayon.

"B-bakit mo sinasabi sa akin 'to?" I tried my best not to stutter but I failed, my voice almost broke.

"You're still my bestfriend, I need your approval."

I was taken aback. Lost of words they call it... ako 'yon ngayon. I looked at him in disbelief.

"You're just hurting me more, Ryle." Matabang kong saad.

I don't know where did I get this kind of kakapalan ng mukha na magsabi tungkol sa nararamdaman ko gayong ako ang may kasalanan sa aming dalawa. 

"Triple yung akin, Aya. Consider my feelings too. You already betrayed me, don't do it twice."

He's right, wala akong karapatang masaktan.

Sinuot ko ang sumbrero ko at kinuha ang susi ng kotse ko sa mesa. Kabibili lang ni Dad non bilang graduation gift niya sa akin. I'm open about my sexuality sa parents ko kaya sa kanya ako umiyak matapos ang nangyari.

"Good evening ma'am." Bati ni manong guard at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto. Tumango nalang ako at pumasok. I pressed the button for the elevator and waited patiently.

Bahagya akong nagulat nang magbukas ito, revealing a certain woman who also got shocked after seeing me. Hindi ko na masyadong ipinahalata ang pagkagulat ko at tumingin nalang sa ibang direksyon.

It was Mika holding a bunch of paper bags.

Anong ginagawa niya dito?

"A-Aya, I thought you were here." She said that made my eyebrows arched.

"Why? I am here." Saad ko, hindi napigilan ang magsungit sa kanya. Sasarado na sanang muli ang elevator nang pigilan ko ito at pumasok nalang din doon. I put my hands inside my hoodie's pocket because they were trembling.

Naaapektuhan niya padin ako. Bulong ko nalang sa sarili.

She remained silent and just pressed the button of my floor number. I assumed na sasama siya sa akin doon at hindi nga ako nagkamali.

"Aya."

Panglima niya na atang tawag iyon sa akin pero hindi ko siya pinansin since nang makalabas kami mula sa elevator. I'm still confused but I don't have the urge to ask her. Ayoko siyang kausapin.

"Aya, will you please listen to me first?"

"Aya ano ba!"

"Ano ba, Mika?!" I can't help but to burst out. She got startled and wasn't able to talk back.

Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong umiyak sa harapan niya. Tumalikod na lamang ako at binuksan ang pinto ng unit ko. Akala ko susunod siya pero nanatili siyang nakatayo sa labas kaya muli ko siyang nilingon.

"Hindi kaba papasok?" I coldly asked. She hesitated for a second but eventually made her way inside.

Hinubad ko ang cap ko at tumingin sa kanya. Inilapag niya ang mga dala niya sa mesa at tumingin din sa akin pabalik.

"What are you doing here?"

"You told me to come in." Inosenteng sagot niya.

"I didn't tell you to come in, tinanong lang kita." I replied sarcastically.

Matigas siyang tumingin sa akin and answered, "Ganoon na rin 'yon," at pinaikutan ako ng mata.

Aba.

Silence surrounded us as she looked down her feet. My brow eventually raised when she started playing with her fingers. It's a habit of her when she's nervous. I gulped and looked away.

"It has been months." Panimula niya.  Nanatili akong tahimik at umupo na lamang sa sofa.

I hummed in response. Bumabalik lang ang sakit. As much as I want to ignore her, I can't. There is a part of me that misses her and a part that's telling me to stop. I chose to believe the former.

"After all those months, bakit kapa nagpakita sa akin." 

Ngayong okay na ako. I tried to laugh.

"I'm sorry." I heard she mumbled.

My lips were pressed together, forming a thin line. I want to let go of my emotions but I can't.

"No, ako dapat ang magsorry." I faked a smile. I tried to search for her gaze and the same old feelings returned when I met hers.

For the second time today, I swallowed hard, "Maling maramdaman iyon. And don't worry, I moved on."

Of course, it was a lie.

Seeing her right now and be able to talk  to her makes me want to yell my lungs out. I want to shout until my voice run off... so that these feelings will go away, nang kahit papaano ay hindi na ako labis pang masaktan.

I heard her sigh. "Good.. good for you." She said at napaangat ako ng tingin sa kanya.

"Why are you here?" Patay malisya kong saad.

"I.."

She hesitated for a second and stared at me straightly.

"I'm here to invite you on our wedding," Aniya na parang ang dali-dali lang nong sabihin. I felt a pang in my chest after hearing those words from her.

Grabe. Is she that oblivious? Sobra na 'to.

I can feel the anger running through my veins at the moment, napayukom din ako ng palad. Hindi ko siya matitigan ng diretso so I looked away.

"S-Sure. Maaasahan niyo ako."

"I'm sorry for everything I have caused you, Aya."

She spoke gently. I felt her gaze on me that made me feel uneasy. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nagtulak sa akin upang harapin ang mga titig na iyon. I was surprised when I met her eyes, punong puno iyon ng lungkot. It feels like may gusto pa siyang sabihin pero hindi niya magawa.

"I have to go." She said and smiled at me. I know she's just faking it, "Take care always."

"Hmm. You too." Wala na akong magawa o masabi man lang dahil mistulang nagsiatrasan ang mga salitang gusto kong ipagsigawan sa kanya.

I just watched her walk towards the door and left without any words.

Nang makaalis siya ay agad na nagsipaunahan ang mga luha ko sa pagtulo na kanina ko pang pinipigilan.

Damn. It hurts as fuck.