Soul Bound

Chapter 17

DPOV

I was waiting for Rose outside her room. I had been looking for her since she walked out with Adrian. I had seen her and Vasilisa walk into Adrian's room and be in there for almost two hours. Although it was better than Rose going in there alone, I still wasn't feeling good about it. Okay, my mind was coming up with the most ridiculous scenarios and it wasn't improving my temper at all.

I knew Rose would be coming back here alone. I had seen Vasilisa walk off to what I assumed was Christian's room.

The moment Rose rounded the corner and saw me her face turned from normal to stormy. I was not out of the woods yet. Beneath the surface she might have seen a bit of shame at my earlier behavior, but I think my anger at her walking away with Adrian and going into his room were overpowering that.

She opened her door and was about to slam the door in my face but I stopped her by putting my hand on the door and walking inside, closing the door behind me.

"I don't want to hear it." She said in a raised voice before I could utter a single syllable.

She didn't want to hear my apology or she didn't want to hear what I had to say about Tasha. Was she so sure that I would say yes to her offer?

"Roza, I am sorry about what I said." I tried to be gentle with her. I had messed up. I still didn't know why she was so mad at me. But I know she needed to calm down first, before we could have a real conversation.

She was pacing around her room, like a wild cat trapped in a cage. I did recognize a tendril of darkness there. But it was fueled with something else.

"Roza..?" I tried grabbing her arm so she would stand still but she pulled out of my grip.

"No Dimitri, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know how sorry you are or how you had no choice, or how this is better for the both of us. I just don't want to hear it. If you want to leave, you should just leave." By the end of her rant she had tears in her eyes, but her entire demeanor still screamed rage.

I was getting pretty annoyed myself again, she wouldn't even listen to me. I know it was fear talking, but didn't she know I couldn't leave her? We had tried to stay away from each other and we had failed.

"Rose would you please just let me explain." My voice was raised. But she was leaving me no choice.

"What could you possibly say to make this okay. My world is coming down around me."

She was on the verge of hysterics now. I had no idea this was affecting her so much. I didn't know how scared she was of losing me. Although I never contemplated leaving her, I think I should have talked to her about Tasha's offer the minute I got back to campus. She had had too much time to think about this. I didn't know who told her, but it should have come from me. I should have told her and immediately told her I had no intention of taking it.

I was starting to realise how much Rose had a fear of abandonment. She didn't think she was worthy of love. She didn't think she was enough. I had seen it with Lissa, and I had seen it with her mother. And now I had fed into it, even if I hadn't meant to.

I held her shoulders so she would look at me. "I am not leaving. I was never leaving. I can't leave you. Don't you understand that? I love you and I couldn't leave you if I tried." I practically screamed at her. I needed her to believe me. Because it was the absolute truth. I was physically incapable of staying away from her.

But she shook her head. When she spoke her voice still sounded so angry. She asked the one question I hoped she wouldn't ask.

"But I can't give you the things she can. Don't you want a normal life?"