in the rain

fifteen.

when eddy comes over after a few days of staying at his mother's house, not even texting brett, it's like the air between them has completely changed.

"hey."

"hi. come in." 

"thanks." 

awkward…

"so. did you enjoy it at your mum's?" brett says with a cheery tone. a fake one. eddy sees right through it and sighs. 

"it was fine. we talked about canada." 

"oh? that's nice. any news?" brett says, still faking his smiles. 

"i'm gonna go there two weeks in advance, so that gives me around three weeks left." 

"yeah, time zones. how far apart was it from here? 10 hours? yikes." 

"just cut it out, brett."

"sorry." 

"it's just that things have suddenly changed between us. we haven't even seen or spoken to each other for days. and then you also have your preparations to make. i don't want to make things any harder for you." brett looks at eddy and the only thing he thinks is, god, i want to keep you forever. 

"—unless you want me to make something else hard… then?" he decides to add and eddy laughs and then suddenly everything seems okay. 

"i'd rather you don't."

"that's a shame."

"really, now?" 

"yeah, i'm devastated,"

"kiss my ass." 

"willingly." 

"ew!" they laugh carelessly just like they always do.

and even if in the back of their minds, they know that this is all coming to an end soon, they just want to spend as much time as they can with each other, laughing and loving. it would be a waste to sulk for the remainder of the time they have together.

"wanna watch a movie?" eddy asks with a genuine smile. 

"sure. what do you wanna watch?"

"i remember you said you liked happy feet?" 

"i don't even remember when i said that but yeah, i like happy feet." 

"feet fetish, dare i ask?"

"oh my god, eddy."

"hey, i mean that's not a no." 

"eddy, no!" 

"okay, okay! maybe a little too defensive but—" brett shoves him on the shoulder.

"happy feet it is."

eddy finds the movie on some website that is probably not safe while brett pops some microwave popcorn.

when the laptop's all set and the popcorn's all popped, brett sits beside eddy on the couch and hands him a blanket. eddy gratefully takes it and wraps it around both of them. 

"gimme cuddles." 

"needly little penguin," eddy mumbles but he complies. 

"you're mean." 

"i know. i know."

"hey. i didn't mean that." 

"but i am mean to you, aren't i?"

"eddy. you're not mean at all. it was just a joke."

"i'm not mean? even if i'm leaving you?" eddy huffs. 

"if it's for your dream then it's not mean at all. let's just watch the movie." 

"i'm sorry," eddy says, tears pooling in his eyes. 

brett cups eddy's cheek and looks him in the eye and says, "it's okay. i promise." 

he caresses eddy's cheek and smiles. he kisses his forehead sweetly, leans forward, and presses the play button. he cuddles with eddy as happy feet play in the background.

when the movie ends, eddy's already snoring on his shoulder. he shakes eddy lightly, telling him to move to his bed which is more comfortable. he only receives a grumble in response, so he decides to poke eddy's side and he's suddenly wide awake. 

"not fair," eddy says, yawning right after. 

"you slept through the movie. you deserve it. but whatever. go move to the bed or you'll get a stiff neck later." 

"fine," eddy says, dragging himself to brett's bedroom. he throws himself into the bed and it bounces, but then there's another body throwing itself on his body and the wind's knocked out of his lungs. 

"you're gonna kill me." 

"i will cuddle you to death. beware." 

"spare me, please!" eddy says theatrically but he doesn't move a single muscle. 

"rawrrr!" brett lays his whole body above eddy's and hugs him tight. eddy wraps his own arms around brett too, looking at him full of love and wonder.

"it's nice that you're here. i missed you," he says, pressed against eddy. 

"me too," eddy kisses brett's forehead. he looks up and asks for one on the lips, and eddy chuckles. 

"you're such a needy penguin and yet, i love you so much," he gives brett a peck on the lips just as he wants. brett chases his lips and deepens the kiss, kissing the dear life out of eddy till his breath runs out. 

when they part, their chests are heaving against one another's and eddy doesn't know whether to catch his breath or kiss him again. 

brett can't read his mind so he smashes his face onto eddy's. of course eddy responds instantly, kissing back, and by instinct, even turns them over, leaving him on top. 

eddy keeps kissing him, exploring every inch of his lips and his mouth. (until, it isn't just that which he's exploring.)

☂ 

"i love you," eddy says to the man in his arms. 

"i love you too. always." 

and brett will. he'll always love eddy, no matter what. eddy's just the same. and they both know that they do. they love each other without choosing to. they love each other just because they do, and it needs no further explanation. 

they love each other the way they live and breathe; the way the rain falls rather than floats; the way the sun shines rather than dims. they love each other and the world wouldn't be the same if they didn't. 

and they'll still love each other when eddy leaves. that's why the world will still be the same, cruel world it is when he does.